Thursday, January 06, 2005

Side-effects of alcohol; And the cures

Symptom: Cold & humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (and you are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward.

Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor facing upwards.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

Symptom: The floor looks blurry.
Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass against your ear.
Cure: Slowly lift the glass and place it on the table.

Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

Symptom: Your family is giving you seriously funny looks.
Cause: You're in the wrong house with the wrong family.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.

No comments: