Tuesday, August 31, 2004

The Ten Commandments (of Marriage)

Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3. Marriage is grand - and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9. Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why the wife treats the husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment story. A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow!This stuff really works!"

[Ed: I don't know why the writer called them "commandments"...these seem more like statements]

Sunday, August 29, 2004

Ads I Love: Double A Paper

0 mts 30 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

This ad takes a rather risqué approach that is very unusual for a paper company, though the fact that the company is Dutch does, to some extent, explain it.

The setup is a copy center. A very attractive girl walks in just as a young man gets done with his work, places a reem of Double A paper on a slab and goes out. He does not, of course, leave uncharmed by the captivating lady.

Alone in the copy room, the girl finds that the copier tray does not have the paper she wants. The reems she needs to refill the copier tray are placed too high for her to reach. Thus she climbs up on the copier machine in order to get a reem of Double A paper.

In the meantime, the guy realizes that he made a mistake...copied the wrong papers? left the originals in the room? So he goes back to the copy room.

In the copy room, the hot girl has mounted the copier, and as she is reaching for the reem, she accidentally presses the copy button, and the copier starts printing photocopies of her private area.

Yes, it IS a real ad. Go to http://www.doubleapaper.nl/sites/nl/double_reclame.asp and click on "Commercials". Then, of the three images, click on the middle one.

The first commercial at the site is equally breezy, even salacious. I must say, though, that I like the last one even better. A color copier is churning out copies of toasted bread. SUPER: No Jam. VO: Double A Paper: The smoothest paper to go into, and come out of your copier.

VIDEO: Korean Laodung Noodles

0 mts 41 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Ads I Love: Mazda 2 - Way to Park

0 mts 35 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

This commercial plays on the common notion that women can't park/ have trouble parking. Even as a couple of truckers are mocking her, and declaring that "she's never gonna get in there", our protagonist demonstrates the control, maneuverability, small size and coolness of the Mazda by parking it in a very tight spot in an ingenious way.

Monday, August 16, 2004

DOC: The Importance of Being Beautiful

Being beautiful turns the world in your favor. It may be unfair, but it's true.

Click here to read

Sunday, August 15, 2004

VIDEO: Miley Sur Mera Tumhara

5 mts 47 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Finally, people, after a long and frustrating search, I have managed to procure the Doordarshan/ DAVP national integration film from yesteryears. Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby present for your viewing pleasure the real, the original Miley Sur Mera Tumhara video. Remember, you saw it here first.

And happy independence day folks!