Friday, December 26, 2003

The Eye of God



The Helix Nebula as viewed by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope and the Kitt Peak National Observatory in Arizona. The Helix Nebula is described by astronomers as "a trillion-mile-long tunnel of glowing gases." At its center is dying, Sun-like star which has ejected masses of dust and gas to form tentacle-like filaments stretching toward an outer rim composed of the same material. The Sun itself may look like this in several billion years.

The photo was featured on NASA's Website as an Astronomy Picture of the Day in May.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Ads I Love: Cafe Pilao - Really Strong Coffee



This one really makes use of the online advertising medium. However much milk you might add, the coffee is so strong that it does not lighten. Cheers!

VIDEO: Matrix Pingpong

1 mt 43 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Here's pingpong, Matrix style - freeze motion, flights, slow motion...the whole deal.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

The heat of the World Cup

Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Ads I Love: Nike - Invent Your Own Training

0 mts 30 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

A young athlete is stretching, getting ready for his workout; the strange thing is, he is on a public sidewalk. And then, as a nice girl passes by with her hunky boyfriend, our skinny friend grabs hold of her and kisses her. Infuriated, the girl's boyfriend runs after the protagonist. SUPER: Invent Your Own Training.

Thursday, November 27, 2003

VIDEO: Blue Film

0 mts 17 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Thursday, November 20, 2003

An ABCD Diwali

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it...

"So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him.

But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man... they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.

But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... And you don't piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like... all the gods were with him... So anyways,you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys.. Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok... ..

so, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest..and anyways...it gets kinda boring,you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also...

so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."

Sunday, November 16, 2003

VIDEO: Pie in Bill Gates' face

0 mts 09 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

On February 4th, 1998, Bill Gates was hit with a cream pie in Brussels. The offender, a Belgian guy, got away. Two helpers, a French woman and a Belgian student were held in custody for a while by the Belgian police.

Noël Godin, the man behind this, has made it a sport to throw cream cakes in celebrities' faces. "The attack against Bill Gates is symbolic, it's against hierarchical power itself.", Noël said in an interview.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Company

Can one imagine working for the following company?

It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics :

29 have been accused of spouse abuse.
7 have been arrested for fraud.
19 have more than three criminal cases pending against them .
117 have been charged and are being investigated for Murder, Rape, Assault, Extortion and Robbery.
71 cannot get credit or loans due to bad credit histories.
21 are current defendants on various lawsuits.
84 have been involved in offenses and have paid fines.
Can you guess what mighty Organization this is?

It is the 545 members of the Lower House (Lok Sabha, akin to House of Commons in the UK or the Congress in the US) of Parliament of India that works for you and me. The same group cranks out hundreds upon hundred of laws designed to keep the rest of us in line…...

Friday, November 07, 2003

Random Jokes

"The New Hearing Aid"

An elderly gentleman with serious hearing problems goes to the doctor who fits him with hearing aids that allow him to hear at 100% for the first time in many years.

The elderly man goes back in a month for a checkup. The doctor says, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

To which the gentleman replies, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

***************

"Latitude and Longitude"

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."

***************

"The Fastest Father"

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says: "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can shoot an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says: "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says: "You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!"

*****************

"Husbands and Wives"

At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attemp t at homemade cinnamon rolls. After several minutes with no reaction, I asked, "If I baked these commercially, how much do you think I could get for one of them?"

Without looking up from his paper my husband replied, "About 10 years."

*****************

A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before.

"What seems to be the problem, madam?"

"I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband. He's still not seeing things my way."

********************

"I Know The Truth"

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by simply saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman immediately drops his mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a big hug."

Friday, October 31, 2003

Ads I Love: TAG Heuer - Tiger Woods

1 mt 00 secs


TAG Heuer - What are you made of? Tiger's golf ball races an F1. This ad, you have to see to understand!

Thursday, October 30, 2003

VIDEO: Waterboy - We Will Rock You

2 mts 29 secs

A warning alertbox may appear. Click OK to allow the ActiveX control required to play this video.








Click on the image above when it becomes available.

This video will rock you :-)

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Rightsizing

Dear Colleagues,

Due to current financial position, economic recession and probable future mergers, the management has decided to implement a scheme to put all employees over 35 years of age on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged Personnel Early). Personnel selected for RAPE can apply to the management for the SHAFT (Special Help After Forced Termination) scheme. The situation of the employees who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW (Scheme for Retired Early Workers) scheme. An employee may be RAPED only once, SHAFTED twice but may be SCREWED as many times as the management deems appropriate.

Employees who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants and Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earning for Retiring Personnel Early Severance). Obviously employees who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED by the Management. Any other Employee on SHAFT or SCREW will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.

The management has always prided itself in the amount of SHIT it gives to its employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring it to the notice of your Manager. We have been trained to give you all the SHIT that you can handle.

Thanks & Regards



HR Team

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

VIDEO: When Boss is Not in Office

0 mts 16 secs

Friday, October 10, 2003

Techiewood Movie Titles

There has been some talk of some IT companies getting into film production. Some titles they may use:
a.. Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!
b.. Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai
c.. Aao Chat Kare
d.. Programmer No.1
e.. Mera Naam Developer
f.. Java Wale Job Le Jayenge
g.. Hum Apke Memory Mein Rehte Hein
h.. Do Processor, Baarah Terminal
i.. Tera Code Chal Gaya
j.. Har Din Jo Mail Karega
k.. Network Ke Us Paar
l.. Debugging Koi Khel Nahi
m.. Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehta Hai
n.. Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..!
o.. Client Ek Numbari, Programmer Dus Numbari
p.. Login Karo Sajana
q.. Naukar PC Ka
r.. 1942 -- A Bug Story
s.. Kaho Na Virus Hai
t.. Crash Se Crash Tak
u.. Haan Maine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai
v.. Shaheed Hacker Singh
w.. Password De Ke Dekho
x.. Terminal Apna , Login Parayi
y.. Mr. Network Lal
z.. Terminal Sajaake Rakhna
aa.. Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani
ab.. Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Karta
ac.. Phir Teri Java-script Yaad Aayi

Monday, September 22, 2003

Beautiful Sydney in 180-degrees ultra wide-angle



Click on the image to enlarge.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Salaried People

Some basic facts of life for the Salaried People!!!!

Bank Balance
First Week : 10000
Second Week : 1000
Third Week : 100
Fourth week : 10

Conveyance
First Week : Auto ("I can afford it")
Second Week : Share Auto ("I would like to share. I am selfless!")
Third Week : Bus ("Public figures should travel by public transport")
Fourth week : Walk ("Good for health")

Girl friends
First Week : Eena, Meena, Tina ("I can BUY love")
Second Week : Meena, Tina ("I have enough girl friends")
Third Week : Tina ("I am loyal to her")
Fourth week : "Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"

Mobile Maintenance
First Week : Frequent outgoing calls ("This is what mobile is invented for")
Second Week : Restricted outgoing calls ("I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines")
Third Week : Rare outgoing calls ("Mobile should be used in urgent situations only")
Fourth week : Only incoming calls ("I am not going to call her until she calls me")

And last....but not the least...

Boozing
First Week : "Come, let's go to Goa and freak out!"
Second Week : "Man, there is nothing in Goa. Let's go to Lonawala."
Third Week : "The best place to booze on earth is our house itself. What say?"
Fourth week : "Drinking is injurious to health"

Friday, September 19, 2003

DOC: Strategies for a Sustainable World

Beyond greening, beyond pollution control - how to ensure sustainable development.

Click here to read

Ads I Love: Amul Movies - Utterly Butterly Delicious

Amul comes out with a new ad every fortnight in a campaign that has been running successfully for YEARS!!

Biwi No. 1


Boom


Dil Chahta Hai


Gladiator


Harbhajan Singh


Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham


Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai/ Hrithik Roshan


Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani


Bhoot

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Ads I Love: Airtel - A R Rahman

1 mts 01 sec

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

No, I don't really love this ad. But some of my friends requested it, and I am putting it up for them.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

The Truth About Women & Driving

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Psychic Computer Tells What's on Your Mind

There are many psychic websites that are able to tell what you are thinking. Here's one example (this one from CBS)...just follow the instructions.









Impressed yet?

* SPOILER ALERT *

Here's how they do it: The fact is that whichever number you choose, the answer will always be 9 or a multiple thereof. Thus all multiples of 9 have the same symbol as 9. The software does not "read" your mind; it just shows you the 9 symbol. To make the effect more believable, the 9 symbol changes each time you hit "Try Again"

Monday, August 18, 2003

Success - It's a Mind Game







Sunday, August 17, 2003

Ads I Love: Honda Accord - Isn't It Nice When Things Just Work

2 mts 00 secs


This is incredible. No SFX (special effects), no CG (computer graphics) involved. Everything actually happens. And, it works. Isn't it nice when things just work?

Friday, August 08, 2003

Ads I Love: The Axe Effect













Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Industrious Clock

Yugo Nakamura's industrious clock

Saturday, July 26, 2003

Any better, and I'd be twins

Jerry is a restaurant manager in America. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would always reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

Many of the waiters at his restaurant quit their jobs when he changed jobs, so they could follow him around from restaurant to restaurant.The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude.

He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was always there, telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! No one can be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied,

"Each morning I wake up and say to myself, I have two choices today. I can choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. I always choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I always choose to learn from it.

Everytime someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I always choose the positive side of life."

"But it's not always that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. It's your choice how you live your life."

Several years later, I heard that Jerry accidentally did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business: left the back door of his restaurant open one morning and was robbed by three armed men.While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found quickly and rushed to the hospital. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Want to see my scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. "The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, after they shot me, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared?" I asked. Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great.They kept telling me. I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the Emergency Room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'He's a dead man.' I knew I need to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything."

'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Please operate on me as if I am alive, not dead'."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day you have the choice to either enjoy your life or to hate it. The only thing that is truly yours that no one can control or take from you-is your attitude, so if you can take care of that, everything else in life becomes much easier.

Friday, July 18, 2003

Ads I Love: British Council English Learning Programme



The irony, of course, is that you need to know English to get that ad :-)

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Ads I Love: Fevikwik - Fishing

0 mts 41 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Oh, what an ad! A gentleman is fishing in the country, when a village lad comes along humming a tune. Naturally, the gent shushes him, as all that noise can drive the fish away. Snubbed, but not despirited, the country guy walks to the river bank to fish in his own style. He places a few drops of Fevikwik on a stick and submerges in water. And lo and behold, fish get stuck to the stick in no time flat! That's the stength and quick-sticking power of Fevikwik. Superb ad! Transcends language and cultural boundaries.

Saturday, June 21, 2003

VIDEO: CBS 60 Minutes segment on the IITs

13 mts 22 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

CBS segment "Imported from India" on IITs calls them "the most important university you have never heard about."

Monday, June 16, 2003

An eyeful a day keeps the doctor away

Sunday, June 15, 2003

VIDEO: Dhara - Daughters-in-Law

0 mts 42 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

This is not a spectacular ad by any stretch of imagination. But it has an endearing quality, and an all-India appeal. More importantly, in my opinion it conveys the message effectively and efficiently.

Friday, May 23, 2003

VIDEO: LML Freedom

0 mts 34 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Hmm...seems like all motorcycle ads these days are using the same formula: soft songs and feel good images. What the heck, I still do like them. Here's the one for LML Freedom.

The song goes:

Manzil se kehdo,
meri raah na dekhen.
Main na rukoonga,
Main aazaad hoon.

(Tell the landing
Not to wait for me
I will not stop
(because) I am free)

Monday, April 14, 2003

VIDEO: Monday vs Friday

0 mts 44 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Penguins' impression of you on Monday vs you on Friday.

Thursday, April 03, 2003

Sick and tired of your PC? Give it hell!


Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Beat up your PC to your heart's content.

Thursday, March 27, 2003

VIDEO: Steffi (Graf), will you marry me?

12 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

She's exhausted and completely drained, but manages to find humor in this somewhat embarrassing situation. Steffi, you really are the best.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

The Perfect Husband

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club after a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.

Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

(H - Husband, W - Wife)

H - "Hello?"

W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
H - "Yes."

W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,000."

H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. Its a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price . Since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year, how about I buy this?"

H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000."

H - "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..."

H -"What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real-estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."

H - "For how much are they asking?"
W - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover."

H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid it down to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK,sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

H - "Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks "Does anyone know to whom this cellphone belongs?"

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Only in America: Politicians of America

These are REAL quotes!!

I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job
(George Bush, during his Presidential campaign)

This is a great day for France!
(Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral)

For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ... uh... setbacks.
(George Bush)

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change.
(Dan Quayle)

I am honored today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland.
(William Donald Schaefer, first inaugural address)

The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at.
(George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline)

If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed.
(Ronald Reagan)

My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
(Ronald Reagan, about to go on the air for a radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on)

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed.
(Ronald Reagan)

Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize.
Bush: Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time.

Wednesday, February 19, 2003

Here's where the idea for 9/11 came from

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

What were they thinking?

These renowned authors wrote some interesting stuff...

Jane Austen
Such was Catherine Morland at ten. At fifteen appearances were mending; she began to cut her hair and long for balls...
from Northanger Abbey

Charles Dickens
No public business of any kind could possibly be done at any time, without the acquiescence of the Circumlocution Office. Its finger was in the largest public pie, and in the smallest public tart.
from Little Dorrit
After having given vent to this beautiful reflection, Mr Pickwick proceeded to put himself into his clothes; and his clothes into his portmanteau.
from Pickwick Papers

Henry James
Next after that slow-coming, slow-going smile of her lover, it was the rusty complexion of his patrimonial marbles that she most prized.
from The Last of the Valerii

Thursday, January 02, 2003

Only in America: Life in the Times of George W Bush

"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens."
Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2002

"I think the American people — I hope the American — I don't think, let me — I hope the American people trust me."
Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2002

"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."
Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002.

"In other words, I don't think people ought to be compelled to make the decision which they think is best for their family."
on smallpox vaccinations, Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002

"You believe in the Almighty, and I believe in the Almighty. That's why we'll be great partners."
to Turkish Prime Minister Recap Tayyip Erdogan, Washington, D.C. Dec. 10, 2002

"Sometimes, Washington is one of these towns where the person — people who think they've got the sharp elbow is the most effective person."
New Orleans, Dec. 3, 2002

"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."
Washington, D.C., Nov. 27, 2002

"Haven't we already given money to rich people? Why are we going to do it again?"
to economic advisers discussing a second round of tax cuts, as quoted by Paul O'Neil, Washington, D.C., Nov. 26, 2002

"I'm the commander — see, I don't need to explain — I do not need to explain why I say things. That's the interesting thing about being president."
as quoted in Bob Woodward's "Bush at War"

"I know something about being a government. And you've got a good one."
campaigning for Gov. Mike Huckabee, Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 4, 2002

"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
speaking about terrorists, Portsmouth, N.H., Nov. 1, 2002

"I need to be able to move the right people to the right place at the right time to protect you, and I'm not going to accept a lousy bill out of the United Nations Senate."
South Bend, Ind., Oct. 31, 2002

"John Thune has got a common-sense vision for good forest policy. I look forward to working with him in the United Nations Senate to preserve these national heritages."
Aberdeen, S.D., Oct. 31, 2002

"Let me tell you my thoughts about tax relief. When your economy is kind of ooching along, it's important to let people have more of their own money."
Boston, Oct. 4, 2002

"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."
Trenton, N.J., Sept. 23, 2002

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."
Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

"You see, the Senate wants to take away some of the powers of the administrative branch."
Washington, D.C., Sept. 19, 2002

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002 (Click for video)

"See, we love — we love freedom. That's what they didn't understand. They hate things; we love things. They act out of hatred; we don't seek revenge, we seek justice out of love."
Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

"There's no cave deep enough for America, or dark enough to hide."
Oklahoma City, Aug. 29, 2002

"President Musharraf, he's still tight with us on the war against terror, and that's what I appreciate. He's a — he understands that we've got to keep Al Qaeda on the run, and that by keeping him on the run, it's more likely we will bring him to justice."
Ruch, Ore., Aug. 22, 2002

"I'm a patient man. And when I say I'm a patient man, I mean I'm a patient man. Nothing he [Saddam Hussein] has done has convinced me — I'm confident the Secretary of Defense — that he is the kind of fellow that is willing to forgo weapons of mass destruction, is willing to be a peaceful neighbor, that is — will honor the people — the Iraqi people of all stripes, will — values human life. He hasn't convinced me, nor has he convinced my administration."
Crawford, Texas, Aug. 21, 2002

"The federal government and the state government must not fear programs who change lives, but must welcome those faith-based programs for the embetterment of mankind."
Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
speaking at the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"Tommy (Thompson) is a good listener, and he's a pretty good actor, too."
apparently confusing his Health and Human Services secretary with Sen. Fred Thompson, Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"The trial lawyers are very politically powerful. … But here in Texas we took them on and got some good medical — medical malpractice."
Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"I firmly believe the death tax is good for people from all walks of life all throughout our society."
Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"I love the idea of a school in which people come to get educated and stay in the state in which they're educated."
Milwaukee, Wis., Aug. 14, 2002

"There may be some tough times here in America. But this country was gone through tough times before, and we're going to do it again."
Waco, Texas, Aug. 13, 2002

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur."
discussing the decline of the French economy with British Prime Minister Tony Blair

"There was no malfeance involved. This was an honest disagreement about accounting procedures. ... There was no malfeance, no attempt to hide anything."
White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002

"I also understand how tender the free enterprise system can be."
White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002

"Over 75 percent of white Americans own their home, and less than 50 percent of Hispanos and African Americans don't own their home. And that's a gap, that's a homeownership gap. And we've got to do something about it."
Cleveland, Ohio, July 1, 2002

"I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about peace."
June 18, 2002

"I'd rather have them sacrificing on behalf of our nation than, you know, endless hours of testimony on congressional hill."
Fort Meade, Maryland, June 4, 2002

"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator."
to community and religious leaders in Moscow, May 24, 2002

"We're working with Chancellor Schröder on what's called 10-plus-10-over-10: $10 billion from the U.S.,$10 billion from other members of the G7 over a 10-year period, to help Russia securitize the dismantling — the dismantled nuclear warheads."
Berlin, Germany, May 23, 2002

"And one of the things we've got to make sure that we do is anything."
discussing the Middle East after meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2002

"After all, a week ago, there were — Yasser Arafat was boarded up in his building in Ramallah, a building full of, evidently, German peace protestors and all kinds of people. They're now out. He's now free to show leadership, to lead the world."
Washington, D.C., May 2, 2002

"The public education system in America is one of the most important foundations of our democracy. After all, it is where children from all over America learn to be responsible citizens, and learn to have the skills necessary to take advantage of our fantastic opportunistic society."
May 1, 2002

"Do you have blacks, too?"
to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Nov. 8, 2001, as reported in an April 28, 2002, Estado Sao Pauloan column by Fernando Pedreira, a close friend of President Cardoso

"This foreign policy stuff is a little frustrating."
as quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002

"It would be a mistake for the United States Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber."
Washington, D.C., April 10, 2002

"And so, in my State of the — my State of the Union — or state — my speech to the nation, whatever you want to call it, speech to the nation — I asked Americans to give 4,000 years — 4,000 hours over the next — the rest of your life — of service to America. That's what I asked — 4,000 hours."
Bridgeport, Conn., April 9, 2002

"My mom often used to say, "The trouble with W" — although she didn't put that to words."
Washington, D.C., Apr. 3, 2002

"We've tripled the amount of money — I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available."
Lima, Peru, March 23, 2002

"Laura and I will thank them from the bottom of my heart."
Alexandria, Virginia, March 20, 2002

"We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat — I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit."
O'Fallon, Mo., Mar. 18, 2002

"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region."
Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"There's nothing more deep than recognizing Israel's right to exist. That's the most deep thought of all. ... I can't think of anything more deep than that right."
Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

"They didn't think we were a nation that could conceivably sacrifice for something greater than our self; that we were soft, that we were so self-absorbed and so materialistic that we wouldn't defend anything we believed in. My, were they wrong. They just were reading the wrong magazine or watching the wrong Springer show."
Washington, D.C., March 12, 2002

"My trip to Asia begins here in Japan for an important reason. It begins here because for a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times. From that alliance has come an era of peace in the Pacific."
who apparently forgot about a little something called World War II, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

"You know, I was campaigning in Chicago and somebody asked me, is there ever any time where the budget might have to go into deficit? I said only if we were at war or had a national emergency or were in recession. Little did I realize we'd get the trifecta."
Charlotte, North Carolina, Feb. 27, 2002

"He [Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi] said I want to make it very clear to you exactly what I intend to do and he talked about non-performing loans, the devaluation issue and regulatory reform and he placed equal emphasis on all three."
who had meant to say "the deflation issue" rather than "the devaluation issue," and accidentally sent the Japanese Yen tumbling, Tokyo, Feb. 18, 2002

"I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war."
Charleston, West Virginia, Jan. 27, 2002

"Not over my dead body will they raise your taxes."
Ontario, California, Jan. 5, 2002

"I want to thank you for taking time out of your day to come and witness my hanging."
at the dedication of his portrait, Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2002

"But all in all, it's been a fabulous year for Laura and me."
summing up his first year in office, Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2001

"I couldn't imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."
at a White House Menorah lighting ceremony, Washington, D.C., Dec. 10, 2001

"The United States and Russia are in the midst of transformationed relationship that will yield peace and progress."
Washington, D.C., Nov, 13, 2001

"We need to counter the shockwave of the evildoer by having individual rate cuts accelerated and by thinking about tax rebates."
Washington, D.C., Oct. 4, 2001

"I am here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly out of Ronald Reagan Airport."
Washington, D.C., Oct. 3, 2001

"We are fully committed to working with both sides to bring the level of terror down to an acceptable level for both."
after a meeting with congressional leaders, Washington, D.C., Oct. 2, 2001

"The folks who conducted to act on our country on September 11th made a big mistake. They underestimated America. They underestimated our resolve, our determination, our love for freedom. They misunderestimated the fact that we love a neighbor in need. They misunderestimated the compassion of our country. I think they misunderestimated the will and determination of the Commander-in-Chief, too."
Washington, D.C., Sept. 26, 2001

"Border relations between Canada and Mexico have never been better."
in a press conference with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien. Sept. 24, 2001

"When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive."
Washington, D.C. Sept. 19, 2001

"I'm confident we can work with Congress to come up with an economic stimulus package that will send a clear signal to the risk takers and capital formators of our country."
Washington, D.C., Sept. 17, 2001

"Brie and cheese." —
to reporters, on what he imagines reporters eat, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 23, 2001

"Arbolist … Look up the word. I don't know, maybe I made it up. Anyway, it's an arbo-tree-ist, somebody who knows about trees."
as quoted in USA Today, Aug. 21, 2001

"The suicide bombings have increased. There's too many of them."
Albuquerque, N.M., Aug. 15, 2001

"One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a — a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone."
Denver, Aug. 14, 2001

"There's a lot of people in the Middle East who are desirous to get into the Mitchell process. And — but first things first. The — these terrorist acts and, you know, the responses have got to end in order for us to get the framework — the groundwork — not framework, the groundwork to discuss a framework for peace, to lay the—all right."
referring to former Sen. George Mitchell's report on Middle East peace, Crawford, Texas, Aug. 13, 2001

"My administration has been calling upon all the leaders in the — in the Middle East to do everything they can to stop the violence, to tell the different parties involved that peace will never happen."
Crawford, Texas, Aug, 13, 2001

"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
July 27, 2001

"You saw the president yesterday. I thought he was very forward-leaning, as they say in diplomatic nuanced circles."
referring to his meeting with Russian President Vladimir Putin, July 23, 2001

"I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe — I believe what I believe is right."
in Rome, July 22, 2001

"It is white."
asked by a child in Britain what the White House was like, July 19, 2001

"It's my honor to speak to you as the leader of your country. And the great thing about America is you don't have to listen unless you want to."
speaking to recently sworn in immigrants on Ellis Island, July 10, 2001

"Well, it's an unimaginable honor to be the president during the Fourth of July of this country. It means what these words say, for starters. The great inalienable rights of our country. We're blessed with such values in America. And I — it's — I'm a proud man to be the nation based upon such wonderful values."
visiting the Jefferson Memorial, Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001

"I can't tell you what it's like to be in Europe, for example, to be talking about the greatness of America. But the true greatness of America are the people."
Washington, D.C., July 2, 2001

"You know, sometimes when you study history, you get stuck in the past."
on what he told Russian president Vladimir Putin, as quoted in the Wall Street Journal, June 25, 2001

"We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."
at a news conference in Europe, June 14, 2001

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency."
June 14, 2001, speaking to Swedish Prime Minister Goran Perrson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling.

"I haven't had a chance to talk, but I'm confident we'll get a bill that I can live with if we don't."
referring to the McCain-Kennedy patients' bill of rights, June 13, 2001

"Can't living with the bill means it won't become law."
referring to the McCain-Kennedy patients' bill of rights, June 13, 2001

"Russia is no longer our enemy and therefore we shouldn't be locked into a Cold War mentality that says we keep the peace by blowing each other up. In my attitude, that's old, that's tired, that's stale."
Des Moines, Iowa, June 8, 2001

"Anyway, I'm so thankful, and so gracious — I'm gracious that my brother Jeb is concerned about the hemisphere as well."
June 4, 2001

"It's important for young men and women who look at the Nebraska champs to understand that quality of life is more than just blocking shots."
in remarks to the University of Nebraska women's volleyball team, the 2001 national champions, May 31, 2001

"For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three non-fatal shootings. And, folks, this is unacceptable in America. It's just unacceptable. And we're going to do something about it."
Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."
May 11, 2001

"But I also made it clear to (Vladimir Putin) that it's important to think beyond the old days of when we had the concept that if we blew each other up, the world would be safe."
May 1, 2001

"I hope we get to the bottom of the answer. It's what I'm interested to know."
as quoted by AP, April 26, 2000

"First, we would not accept a treaty that would not have been ratified, nor a treaty that I thought made sense for the country."
on the Kyoto accord, April 24, 2001

"He married, like me, above his head."
on U.S. ambassador to Canada Paul Cellucci, Quebec City, April 22, 2001

"It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce."
at the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City, April 21, 2001

"Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican."
declining to take reporters' questions during a photo op with Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien, April 21, 2001

"We must have the attitude that every child in America – regardless of where they're raised or how they're born — can learn."
New Britain, Conn., April 18, 2001

"It is time to set aside the old partisan bickering and finger-pointing and name-calling that comes from freeing parents to make different choices for their children."
on "parental empowerment in education," April 12, 2001

"I think we're making progress. We understand where the power of this country lay. It lays in the hearts and souls of Americans. It must lay in our pocketbooks. It lays in the willingness for people to work hard. But as importantly, it lays in the fact that we've got citizens from all walks of life, all political parties, that are willing to say, I want to love my neighbor. I want to make somebody's life just a little bit better."
April 11, 2001

"This administration is doing everything we can to end the stalemate in an efficient way. We're making the right decisions to bring the solution to an end."
Washington, D.C. April 10, 2001

"It would be helpful if we opened up ANWR (Arctic National Wildlife Refuge). I think it's a mistake not to. And I would urge you all to travel up there and take a look at it, and you can make the determination as to how beautiful that country is."
White House press conference, March 29, 2001

"We want to develop defenses that are capable of defending ourselves and defenses capable of defending others."
White House press conference, Washington, D.C. March 29, 20001

"I've coined new words, like, misunderstanding and Hispanically."
speaking at the Radio & Television Correspondents dinner, March 29, 2001

"We'll be a great country where the fabrics are made up of groups and loving centers."
Kalamazoo, Michigan, March 27, 2001

"A lot of times in the rhetoric, people forget the facts. And the facts are that thousands of small businesses — Hispanically owned or otherwise — pay taxes at the highest marginal rate."
speaking to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, March 19, 2001

"But the true threats to stability and peace are these nations that are not very transparent, that hide behind the—that don't let people in to take a look and see what they're up to. They're very kind of authoritarian regimes. The true threat is whether or not one of these people decide, peak of anger, try to hold us hostage, ourselves; the Israelis, for example, to whom we'll defend, offer our defenses; the South Koreans."
in a media roundtable discussion, March 13, 2001

"I do think we need for a troop to be able to house his family. That's an important part of building morale in the military."
speaking at Tyndall Air Force Base in Florida, March 12, 2001

"I suspect that had my dad not been president, he'd be asking the same questions: How'd your meeting go with so-and-so? … How did you feel when you stood up in front of the people for the State of the Union Address—state of the budget address, whatever you call it."
in an interview with the Washington Post, March 9, 2001

"Ann and I will carry out this equivocal message to the world: Markets must be open."
at the swearing-in ceremony for Secretary of Agriculture Ann Veneman, March 2, 2001

"My pan plays down an unprecedented amount of our national debt."
in his budget address to Congress, Feb. 27, 2001

"We both use Colgate toothpaste."
on what he had in common with Tony Blair, Camp David, Maryland, Feb. 23, 2001

"I have said that the sanction regime is like Swiss cheese — that meant that they weren't very effective."
during a White House press conference, Feb. 22, 2001

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''
Feb. 21, 2001

"My plan reduces the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists worry that we're going to run out of debt to retire."
radio address, Feb. 24, 2001

"Home is important. It's important to have a home."
Crawford, Texas, Feb. 18, 2001

"We're concerned about AIDS inside our White House — make no mistake about it."
Feb. 7, 2001

"There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it."
speaking to Catholic leaders at the White House, Jan. 31, 2001

"I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state."
speaking to reporters, Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

"I am mindful not only of preserving executive powers for myself, but for predecessors as well."
Washington, D.C., Jan. 29, 2001

"Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to — I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that."
in a pre-inaugural interview with U.S. News & World Report

"My pro-life position is I believe there's life. It's not necessarily based in religion. I think there's a life there, therefore the notion of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."
as quoted in the San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 23, 2001

"I'm hopeful. I know there is a lot of ambition in Washington, obviously. But I hope the ambitious realize that they are more likely to succeed with success as opposed to failure."
Jan. 18, 2001

"I want everybody to hear loud and clear that I'm going to be the president of everybody."
Washington, D.C., Jan. 18, 2001

"Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment."
Jan. 14, 2001

"The California crunch really is the result of not enough power-generating plants and then not enough power to power the power of generating plants."
Jan. 14, 2001

"If he's — the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a — is a noble institution I would — I would strongly reject that assumption — that John Ashcroft is a open-minded, inclusive person."
Jan. 14, 2001

"She's just trying to make sure Anthony gets a good meal — Antonio."
on Laura Bush inviting Justice Antonin Scalia to dinner at the White House, Jan. 14, 2001

"I think it's very important for world leaders to understand that when a new administration comes in, the new administration will be running the foreign policy."
interview with USA Today, Jan. 12, 2001

"I want it to be said that the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make America what we want it to be — a more literate country and a hopefuller country."
Jan. 11, 2001

"It'll be hard to articulate."
anticipating how he'll feel upon assuming the presidency, Jan. 2001

"It's about past seven in the evening here so we're actually in different time lines." —George W. Bush, congratulating newly elected Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Washington, D.C., Jan. 2001

"I do remain confident in Linda. She'll make a fine labor secretary. From what I've read in the press accounts, she's perfectly qualified."
commenting on Linda Chavez, Jan. 8, 2001

"I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know—secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time — that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics."
Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

"The person who runs FEMA is someone who must have the trust of the president. Because the person who runs FEMA is the first voice, often times, of someone whose life has been turned upside down hears from."
Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001

"Natural gas is hemispheric. I like to call it hemispheric in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods."
Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000

"I am mindful of the difference between the executive branch and the legislative branch. I assured all four of these leaders that I know the difference, and that difference is they pass the laws and I execute them."
Washington, D.C., Dec. 20, 2000

"If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator."
Washington, D.C., Dec. 19, 2000

"See, without the tax relief package, there would have been a deficit, but there wouldn't have been the commiserate — not commiserate — the kick to our economy that occurred as a result of the tax relief.
Washington, D.C. Dec. 15, 2000

"Dick Cheney and I do not want this nation to be in a recession. We want anybody who can find work to be able to find work."
60 minutes II, CBS, December 5, 2000

"I knew it might put him in an awkward position that we had a discussion before finality has finally happened in this presidential race."
describing a phone call to Sen. John Breaux. Crawford, Texas, Dec. 2, 2000

"The great thing about America is everybody should vote."
Austin, Texas, Dec. 8, 2000

"As far as the legal hassling and wrangling and posturing in Florida, I would suggest you talk to our team in Florida led by Jim Baker."
Crawford, Texas, Nov. 30, 2000

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law."
Austin, Texas, Nov. 22, 2000

"They misunderestimated me."
Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000

"If you don't stand for anything, you don't stand for anything! If you don't stand for something, you don't stand for anything!"
Bellevue Community College, Nov. 2, 2000

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."
Nov. 2, 2000

"Laura and I are proud to call John and Michelle Engler our friends. I know you're proud to call him governor. What a good man the Englers are."
Nov. 2000

"I'm not really the type to wander off and sit down and go through deep wrestling with my soul."
as quoted in Vanity Fair, October 2000

"Never again in the halls of Washington, D.C., do I want to have to make explanations that I can't explain."
Portland, Oregon, Oct. 31, 2000

"They said, 'You know, this issue doesn't seem to resignate with the people.' And I said, you know something? Whether it resignates or not doesn't matter to me, because I stand for doing what's the right thing, and what the right thing is hearing the voices of people who work."
Portland, Ore., Oct. 31, 2000

"That's a chapter, the last chapter of the 20th, 20th, the 21st century that most of us would rather forget. The last chapter of the 20th century. This is the first chapter of the 21st century. "
on the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

"It's important for us to explain to our nation that life is important. It's not only life of babies, but it's life of children living in, you know, the dark dungeons of the Internet."
Arlington Heights, Ill., Oct. 24, 2000

"I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace."
Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000

"Bill wrote a book at Yale. I read one."
on William F. Buckley, Al Smith Dinner, New York City, Oct. 19, 2000

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."
LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"It's your money. You paid for it."
LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000

"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it."
during the third presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

"Quotas are bad for America. It's not the way America is all about."
third presidential debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 18, 2000

"Mr. Vice President, in all due respect, it is — I'm not sure 80 percent of the people get the death tax. I know this: 100 percent will get it if I'm the president."
third presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

"If I become president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders."
third presidential debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 18, 2000

"Drug therapies are replacing a lot of medicines as we used to know it."
third presidential debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 18, 2000

"I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a gun."
third presidential debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 18, 2000

"I mean, there needs to be a wholesale effort against racial profiling, which is illiterate children."
second presidential debate, Oct. 11, 2000

"Our priorities is our faith."
Greensboro, N.C., Oct. 10, 2000

"I think if you know what you believe, it makes it a lot easier to answer questions. I can't answer your question."
in response to a question about whether he wished he could take back any of his answers in the first debate. Reynoldsburg, Ohio, Oct. 4, 2000

"There a huge trust. I see it all the time when people come up to me and say, 'I don't want you to let me down again.'"
Boston, Mass., Oct. 3, 2000

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000

"One of the common denominators I have found is that expectations rise above that which is expected."
Los Angeles, Sept. 27, 2000

"I will have a foreign-handed foreign policy."
Redwood, Calif., Sept. 27, 2000

"It is clear our nation is reliant upon big foreign oil. More and more of our imports come from overseas."
Beaverton, Ore., Sep. 25, 2000

"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness."
The Edge With Paula Zahn, Sept. 18, 2000

"America better beware of a candidate who is willing to stretch reality in order to win points."
aboard his campaign plane, Sept. 18, 2000

"The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous."
Sept. 2000

"The woman who knew that I had dyslexia — I never interviewed her."
responding to a magazine article claiming he suffered from dyslexia, Orange, Calif., Sept. 15, 2000

"The best way to relieve families from time is to let them keep some of their own money."
Westminster, Calif., Sept. 13, 2000

"They have miscalculated me as a leader."
Westminster, Calif., Sept. 13, 2000

"I don't think we need to be subliminable about the differences between our views on prescription drugs."
Orlando, Fla., Sept. 12, 2000

"Listen, Al Gore is a very tough opponent. He is the incumbent. He represents the incumbency. And a challenger is somebody who generally comes from the pack and wins, if you're going to win. And that's where I'm coming from."
Detroit, Sept. 7, 2000

"We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers."
Houston, Texas, Sept. 6, 2000

"We don't believe in planners and deciders making the decisions on behalf of Americans."
Scranton, Pa., Sept. 6, 2000

"I regret that a private comment I made to the vice presidential candidate made it through the public airways."
on his "major league asshole" remark, Allentown, Pa., Sept. 5, 2000.

"Well, I think if you say you're going to do something and don't do it, that's trustworthiness."
in a CNN online chat, Aug. 30, 2000

"I don't know whether I'm going to win or not. I think I am. I do know I'm ready for the job. And, if not, that's just the way it goes."
Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

"We cannot let terrorists and rogue nations hold this nation hostile or hold our allies hostile.''
Des Moines, Iowa, Aug. 21, 2000

"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together."
Bartlett, Tenn., Aug. 18, 2000

"I want you to know that farmers are not going to be secondary thoughts to a Bush administration. They will be in the forethought of our thinking."
Salinas, Calif., Aug. 10, 2000

"Unfairly but truthfully, our party has been tagged as being against things. Anti-immigrant, for example. And we're not a party of anti-immigrants. Quite the opposite. We're a party that welcomes people."
Cleveland, July 1, 2000

"The only things that I can tell you is that every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty ... I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas."
NPR, June 16, 2000

"Actually, I — this may sound a little West Texas to you, but I like it. When I'm talking about — when I'm talking about myself, and when he's talking about myself, all of us are talking about me."
Hardball, MSNBC, May 31, 2000

"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read — I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do."
on abortion, MSNBC's "Hardball," May 31, 2000

"I think we agree, the past is over."
on his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."
Reuters, May 5, 2000

"The fact that he relies on facts — says things that are not factual — are going to undermine his campaign."
on Al Gore, New York Times, March 4, 2000

"It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy (Elian Gonzalez) there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb – I haven't told this to many people. But he's the governor of – I shouldn't call him my little brother – my brother, Jeb, the great governor of Texas."
interview with the NewsHour with Jim Lehrer, April 27, 2000

"Laura and I really don't realize how bright our children is sometimes until we get an objective analysis."
CNBC, April 15, 2000

"I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating."
U.S. News & World Report, April 3, 2000

"We want our teachers to be trained so they can meet the obligations, their obligations as teachers. We want them to know how to teach the science of reading. In order to make sure there's not this kind of federal — federal cufflink."
at Fritsche Middle School, Milwaukee, March 30, 2000

"Reading is the basics for all learning."
announcing his "Reading First" initiative in Reston, Va., March 28, 2000

"I thought how proud I am to be standing up beside my dad. Never did it occur to me that he would become the gist for cartoonists."
Newsweek, Feb. 28, 2000

"The Bob Jones policy on interracial dating, I mean I spoke out on interracial dating. I spoke against that. I spoke out against interracial dating. I support the policy of interracial dating."
interview with CBS News, February 25, 2000

"It is not Reaganesque to support a tax plan that is Clinton in nature.''
Los Angeles, Feb. 23, 2000

"I understand small business growth. I was one."
New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000

"The senator has got to understand if he's going to have — he can't have it both ways. He can't take the high horse and then claim the low road."
on Sen. John McCain, speaking to reporters in Florence, S.C., Feb. 17, 2000

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign."
Hilton Head, S.C., Feb. 16, 2000

"We ought to make the pie higher."
South Carolina Republican Debate, Feb. 15, 2000

"Put the 'off' button on."
February 14, 2000, giving advice to parents troubled by the graphic fare on television

"I think we need not only to eliminate the tollbooth to the middle class, I think we should knock down the tollbooth."
Nashua, N.H., as quoted by Gail Collins in the New York Times, Feb. 1, 2000

"The most important job is not to be governor, or first lady in my case."
Pella, Iowa, as quoted by the San Antonio Express-News, Jan. 30, 2000

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"
Concord, N.H., Jan. 29, 2000

"I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family."
Greater Nashua, N.H., Chamber of Commerce, Jan. 27, 2000

"When I was coming up, it was a dangerous world, and you knew exactly who they were. It was us versus them, and it was clear who them was. Today we are not so sure who the they are, but we know they're there."
Iowa Western Community College, Jan 21, 2000

"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.''
as quoted by the San Francisco Chronicle, Jan. 21, 2000

"The administration I'll bring is a group of men and women who are focused on what's best for America, honest men and women, decent men and women, women who will see service to our country as a great privilege and who will not stain the house."
Des Moines Register debate, Iowa, Jan. 15, 2000

"This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mential losses."
speaking at a South Carolina oyster roast, Jan. 14, 2000

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?"
Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

"Governor Bush will not stand for the subsidation of failure."
Florence, South Carolina, Jan. 11, 2000

"If the terriers and bariffs are torn down, this economy will grow."
Jan. 2000

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
Jan. 3, 2000

"What I'm suggesting to you is, if you can't name the foreign minister of Mexico, therefore, you know, you're not capable of what you do. But the truth of the matter is you are, whether you can or not."
as quoted in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, Nov. 6, 1999

"General. I can't name the general."
after being asked to name the President of Pakistan, Boston, Mass., Nov. 3, 1999

"Keep good relations with the Greecians."
as quoted in The Economist, April 9, 1999

"I became totally inebriated with hitting the big one."
on his oil drilling days, Texas Monthly, May 1994

"It was just inebriating what Midland was all about then."
reflecting in 1994 about growing up in Midland, Texas