Sunday, October 30, 2005

DOC: The $2000 Car

The Tatas of India are coming up with a brand new $2000 car. The GMs and Fords of the world are watching with bated breath.

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Monday, October 17, 2005

VIDEO: What Men and Women Fight About

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Friday, October 07, 2005

Escalator Angel

"Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God will come to know God because they know you." - Anonymous

The crisp February morning chilled the crowd that waited to catch the MARTA, Atlanta's public rail system. When the train arrived, I moved with the others toward vacant seats. Mechanical sounds punctuated the trip: the humming of electric motors and the loud bell before the doors slid shut.

As we settled into our parallel journeys, I looked around. I work at home, and consequently don't often take public transit at rush hour. This morning I was on my way into the city for a seminar. The size and diversity of the crowd on the train surprised me. In our single car, there were African-Americans, European-Americans and Asians -- a generous representation of world society.

But there was no interaction. Business men and women had their briefcases open, poring over papers filled with charts and columns. Casually dressed students studied books. One young man had headphones on and swayed in a slow dance to his private music. I'm a fiction man, myself. I travel with a novel handy.

But today I didn't open it. I was too busy studying those around me; something felt strange.

I didn't realize what it was until I'd disembarked at Five Points, the connecting point for the east and west trains. In this cavernous space, I joined perhaps a thousand commuters waiting for their trains.

Here I realized what was so eerie: the total silence. One thousand people, packed cheek to jowl, looking straight ahead, pretending the others didn't exist. And I, a 50-year-old white man, wearing a blue suit and glasses, was one of them. The only sound two stories under Atlanta's streets was the hum of the escalators.

And then came a woman's voice. "Good Morning!"

The greeting echoed through the station. A thousand heads snapped up in unison, scanning the space. The voice had come from a woman riding the descending escalator on the far side of the platform. "How y'all this morning?"

She practically sang her words, punctuating her speech with long vowel extensions. People began to turn toward her.

The petite African-American woman reached the bottom of the escalator and walked purposefully to the edge of the throng. She grabbed a surprised businessman's hand, shook it and looked him in the eye. "Good morning! How ya doing this morning?"

The man looked at the small woman who had him in her grip. He broke with a smile. "Fine, thank you."

Her clothes were a little ragged, but her purposeful smile overcame her stature and appearance as she moved through the crowd, shouting greetings, shaking hands and laughing freely. Finally, she looked across the tracks at the crowd on my side of the platform. "How ya'll folks over there this morning?"

"Just fine" I shouted back. Others answered with me. We surprised each other so much that we broke out laughing.

"That's good," she said. She paused and looked around. Now everyone was listening. "God sent me here to cheer you up this morning. And that's the God of the Jew, the Christian, the Muslim and any other religions ya'll brought or didn't bring along."

From where I stood, I could see a twinkle in her eye. Amazingly, the train station came alive with good-natured conversation. As we chatted with each other, few noticed the slight woman quietly ascend the up escalator.

When the northbound train arrived, I squeezed into a car already stuffed with riders. I didn't get much past the door and grabbed a chrome pole that already had hands of every racial color gripping it. My face looked straight into that of an African-American woman about my age. She wore a light yellow business suit. I sensed she didn't like the press of people around us.

Before I could stop myself, I said, "Good morning."

"What?" she seemed surpised.

"Good morning. How are you doing?" A few people watched us. A smile overtook her. "Fine," she chuckled. "You know, nobody's asked me that this morning. Really, nobody ever says hello."

I grinned and told her about the unexpected visitor back at Five Points, wondering aloud if she might have been an angel. "Isn't that what angels do? They're messengers. That woman demonstated the goodness of simply greeting each other, sharing our humanity, instead of guarding it."

Others around the pole joined the discussion, and smiles spread through the car.

The woman across from me, now grinning, said "If It weren't so crowded in here, I'd give you a good hug. You've made my morning."

When the train arrived at my stop, I moved toward the door. "I hope you have a good day!" I called back to my fellow traveler.

"I will, and thank you."

As I looked back into the car, I saw lots of smiles. People were chatting. Someone else touched my shoulder and waved goodbye. I felt happy and alive.

Since then, I've often wondered who that woman was. She didn't have wings; she ascended and descended an escalator and she spoke in a Southern drawl. But silent people who were temporarily buried two stories below Atlanta began to talk and laugh. A chilly February day felt warmer, and a shy guy like me suddenly hasn't been able to keep himself from greeting and talking with strangers on subway trains, elevators and airplanes. But isn't that what a more famous angelic message proclaimed: "Good will to all"?

Monday, October 03, 2005

VIDEO: Dan Nainan Leaves Seattle in Splits

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Stand-up comedian Dan Nainan performs at Moore Theater in Seattle

Saturday, October 01, 2005

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

The responses of Indian personalities when posed the eternal question:

Atal Behari Vajpayee : "Chicken ?" (3 minute pause) "Let me compose An Ode to a Chicken in my shudh Hindi... "

Fernandes:"I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken !!!"

Mulayam:"I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned"

Abdul Kalam:"Yes, why did the chicken cross the road? ... please tell me why? .. they crossed to go to the other side of the road... now repeat after me ...."

Advani: "I see the hands of Pakistan in this ..."

Bal Thackarey: "Chickens crossing the roads is against our culture, my followers (gundas) will stone all such chickens which cross the road".

Jayalalitha:"From a reliable source I've got the information that the chicken belongs to Karunanidhi who made his chicken cross the road to create law & order problems. The chicken is now imprisoned under POTO".

Mamta Baneerji:"I'm made Union Railbay minstaar, I bill shee that chickans will trable by train... no cross road anymoore!".

A.K Antony:"Zimmmmply! ...that's a question you should ask Karunakuran..Heee, heee."

Amitabh Bhachan:"The chicken has crossed the road?.. are you sure.. very sure ... really sure..."

Sonia Ghandhi:"That the chicken crossed the road clearly demonstrates the fact that the people and chicken have lost confidence in the Government. The Government should own moral responsibility and resign!!!"

Narendra Modi: "I called out the army and have brought the chicken crossing incidents under control within 72 hours. The media is blowing it out of proportion."

Ekta Kapoor: "The chicken krossed the road 'kause "k"it kould "k"not "k"tolerate "k"her "k"saas's "k"torture."

Mukesh & Anil Ambani: "Though the chicken moved forward it was a right step in backward integration. Reliance shareholders will will get a 1:5 egg bonus."

Maneka Gandhi:"Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a vehicle had passed over it, we would have lost one of our dearest creatures. Ban all vehicles from using the road. Protect Our Chickens..."

Salman Khan:"I ran over the chicken(Hic!). t was not intentional ... It was accidental (Hic!)... you're now asking this question to me only because I'm a celebrity(Hic!)".

Abu Salem:"Hmmm delicious chicken... Monica darling want a bite ...now what was that question!?"

Sachin Tendulkar: "I will let my bat do the talking. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go for another ad shoot."

Saurav Ganguly: "Nowhere is it written in our BCCI contract that we have to answer such questions. I will take this issue up with the players' association."

Sri Sri Ravi Shanker: "The answer lies within you. Seek it. Your insecurities and anxieties prevent you understanding simple actions like a chicken crossing the road. Please sign up for my Art of Living course for Rs 5000 and everything will become clear."

Azharuddin:"I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority..... I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know...."

Deve Gowda:"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....mmmm...mm... chicken ??? Thanks, I'll have it later !! mm.. snooore... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"