Thursday, March 27, 2003

VIDEO: Steffi (Graf), will you marry me?

12 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

She's exhausted and completely drained, but manages to find humor in this somewhat embarrassing situation. Steffi, you really are the best.

Tuesday, March 18, 2003

The Perfect Husband

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club after a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.

Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

(H - Husband, W - Wife)

H - "Hello?"

W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
H - "Yes."

W -"Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?"

H -"What's the price?"
W - "Only $1,000."

H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. Its a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price . Since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year, how about I buy this?"

H - "What price did he quote you?"
W - "Only $65,000."

H - "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..."

H -"What?"
W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real-estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property."

H - "For how much are they asking?"
W - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover."

H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid it down to $420,000. OK?"
W - "OK,sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"

H - "Bye...I love you too..."

The man hangs up & closes the phone's flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks "Does anyone know to whom this cellphone belongs?"

Saturday, March 15, 2003

Only in America: Politicians of America

These are REAL quotes!!

I want to make sure everybody who has a job wants a job
(George Bush, during his Presidential campaign)

This is a great day for France!
(Richard Nixon, while attending Charles De Gaulle's funeral)

For seven and a half years I've worked alongside President Reagan. We've had triumphs. Made some mistakes. We've had some sex ... uh... setbacks.
(George Bush)

I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy. But that could change.
(Dan Quayle)

I am honored today to begin my first term as the Governor of Baltimore - that is Maryland.
(William Donald Schaefer, first inaugural address)

The caribou love it. They rub against it and they have babies. There are more caribou in Alaska than you can shake a stick at.
(George Bush, on the Alaska pipeline)

If I listened to Michael Dukakis long enough I would be convinced that we're in an economic downturn and people are homeless and going without food and medical attention and that we've got to do something about the unemployed.
(Ronald Reagan)

My fellow Americans, I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.
(Ronald Reagan, about to go on the air for a radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on)

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up and I think we're going to succeed.
(Ronald Reagan)

Walter Mondale: George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize.
Bush: Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any time.