45 mts 08 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Comedy Now's recording of Russell Peters Live. The full 45 minutes. Enjoy!
Slope 45
9 years ago
Friday, December 31, 2004
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Ads I love: Winning print ads
Bice. Bread is Life.
Adidas.
Burger King. Ronald McDonald seen buying his own meal at BK.
Natan. The first remote-control ever invented.
Levi's 501 Re-cut for women. Just the visual is so gripping, and conveys the message.
Levi's 501 Re-cut for women. Just the visual is so gripping, and conveys the message.
Volkswagen Polo. Small but tough. A bunch of police officers taking cover behind one little VW polo.
Baygon insect killer.
UPDATE: Received again Jan 12, 2005
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
VIDEO: Busted Santa
1 mt 28 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
As the holiday festivities are still in the air, here is a clip for you to enjoy. Hot off my email!
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
As the holiday festivities are still in the air, here is a clip for you to enjoy. Hot off my email!
Monday, December 27, 2004
Bakwas Shayari: Poetic nonsense
Jab jab ghire baadal, teri yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main, teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
Jab Jab tum angdai lete ho
dam hamara nikal jata hai.
Aye Jalim, Deodrant lagane me
tumhara kya jata hai ?!
Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikarar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
Aaj tum DIL maango, De Denge...!!!
DHADKAN maango De Denge...!!!
JIGAR Maango...!!! De Denge...!!!
JAAN tak Maango.........To who bhi de Sakte hei.....!!!
Kyunki ...Aaj Chaaro films ki VCD ghar pe hei!!
You're sad, I'm sad
You're happy, I'm happy
You cry, I cry
You die, Goodbye!
Jis Waqt Khuda Ne Tumhe Banaya Hoga
Ik Suroor Sa Uske Dil Par Chaya Hoga
Pehle Socha Hoga Tujhe Jannat Mein Rakh Lun
Phir Use Zoo Ka Khayal Aaya Hoga
Hum Dua Karte Hain Khuda Se
Ki Woh Aap Jaisa Dost Aur Na Banaye
Ek Cartoon Jaisi Cheez Hain Hamaare Paas
Kahin Woh Bhi Common Na Ho Jaye
Aapko Miss Karna Roz Ki Baat Hain
Aapko Yaad Karna Aadat Ki Baat Hain
Aapse Door Rehna Kismat Ki Baat Hain
Magar Aapko Jhelna Himmat Ki Baat Hain
Chand Ko Guroor Hai
Uske Paas Noor Hai
Mujhe Bhi Guroor Hai
Mera Dost Langoor Hai
Jhoom ke barsa saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main, teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
Jab Jab tum angdai lete ho
dam hamara nikal jata hai.
Aye Jalim, Deodrant lagane me
tumhara kya jata hai ?!
Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikarar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
Aaj tum DIL maango, De Denge...!!!
DHADKAN maango De Denge...!!!
JIGAR Maango...!!! De Denge...!!!
JAAN tak Maango.........To who bhi de Sakte hei.....!!!
Kyunki ...Aaj Chaaro films ki VCD ghar pe hei!!
You're sad, I'm sad
You're happy, I'm happy
You cry, I cry
You die, Goodbye!
Jis Waqt Khuda Ne Tumhe Banaya Hoga
Ik Suroor Sa Uske Dil Par Chaya Hoga
Pehle Socha Hoga Tujhe Jannat Mein Rakh Lun
Phir Use Zoo Ka Khayal Aaya Hoga
Hum Dua Karte Hain Khuda Se
Ki Woh Aap Jaisa Dost Aur Na Banaye
Ek Cartoon Jaisi Cheez Hain Hamaare Paas
Kahin Woh Bhi Common Na Ho Jaye
Aapko Miss Karna Roz Ki Baat Hain
Aapko Yaad Karna Aadat Ki Baat Hain
Aapse Door Rehna Kismat Ki Baat Hain
Magar Aapko Jhelna Himmat Ki Baat Hain
Chand Ko Guroor Hai
Uske Paas Noor Hai
Mujhe Bhi Guroor Hai
Mera Dost Langoor Hai
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Wisdom of the ages: 25 lessons from life
1. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
2. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
3. To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse.
4. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
5. Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.
6. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
7. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
8. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
9. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
10. Foreign aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
11. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
12. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
13. You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
14. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
15. Early to bed, early to rise, your girl goes out with other guys.
16. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
18. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband !
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
21. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
22. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
23. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
24. True friends stab you in the front.
25. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
2. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
3. To let a fool kiss you is stupid, to let a kiss fool you is worse.
4. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
5. Mathematics teachers call retirement 'the aftermath'.
6. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
7. Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
8. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.
9. Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
10. Foreign aid is the transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
11. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
12. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
13. You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
14. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
15. Early to bed, early to rise, your girl goes out with other guys.
16. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
17. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
18. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is husband !
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.
21. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.
22. Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without... but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.
23. You can't buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
24. True friends stab you in the front.
25. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
Now that's how business is done
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I'm waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It Was Bill Gates. "Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I'm waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It Was Bill Gates. "Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."
Saturday, December 25, 2004
VIDEO: May you enjoy these holidays with family and fun
0 mts 30 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Friday, December 24, 2004
AUDIO: Moş Crăciun (Old man Christmas)
As you prepare for the Christmas festivities, I'll leave you with this song from Romanian children.
2 mts 03 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Mos Craciun cu plete dalbe
A sosit de prin nameti
El aduce daruri multe
La fetite si baieti
Mos Craciun, Mos Craciun !
Din batrani se povesteste
Ca-n toti anii negresit
Mos Craciun pribeag soseste
Niciodata n-a lipsit
Mos Craciun,Mos Craciun !
Mos Craciun cu plete dalbe
Incotro vrei s-o apuci ?
Ti-as canta "Florile dalbe"
De la noi sa nu te duci
Mos Craciun, Mos Craciun !
2 mts 03 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Mos Craciun cu plete dalbe
A sosit de prin nameti
El aduce daruri multe
La fetite si baieti
Mos Craciun, Mos Craciun !
Din batrani se povesteste
Ca-n toti anii negresit
Mos Craciun pribeag soseste
Niciodata n-a lipsit
Mos Craciun,Mos Craciun !
Mos Craciun cu plete dalbe
Incotro vrei s-o apuci ?
Ti-as canta "Florile dalbe"
De la noi sa nu te duci
Mos Craciun, Mos Craciun !
Thursday, December 23, 2004
AUDIO: Welcome to India (Parody of Welcome to Atlanta)
3 mts 22 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Yaa, MC Vikram and Luda Krishna representing y'all,
That's right ... increase the volume please ... thank you.
Welcome to India, mango juices and lassis, samosa crazy desis
and little kids that are milking the bhainses.
Toothbrush in my pocket, what is that?
We use our fingers here to keep our teeth so clear, who said that?
Luda Krishna here, Vikram pulling the Tata gears,
and I am sitting in the Maruti Supreme
with the cooling glass on no one bothers me,
biggest stars since the ever famous Mamooty.
Come with me to a place where we sip Frooties,
and we eat the sweets while monkeys roam the streets.
Old uncle sits - big bellies and burps smelly (burp!)
Thank you Vikram, would you please pass the jelly,
I mean the pickle, hand it down this way ... Namaste
we greet the people as they enter the train!
Sixty-five people hanging out, the doors start coming out.
Therefore, please don't raise your hand, you are not sure.
I walked into the local corner-store,
bought myself a very nice looking carroms board.
My fingers get sore when I shoot and I score,
and the ladkis all scream coz they all want some more,
of the Luda Krishna and the Vikram MC,
Sweetest thing to hit the States since mango chutney.
We keep the kundis shaking, you better trust me.
The name is Luda Krishna, but my friends call me Thambi, watch!! (burp!)
Ohhh, Vikram, is that you my friend?!
That is me my friend!
Oh, please enter this rap game!
Ok man! C'mon ... tell me where you're going my friend.
Welcome to India where the cows eat hay,
and we drive auto-rickshaws everyday,
Goat meats, yummy sweets, wild monkeys roaming,
The roosters don't crow till five in the morning! (2x)
Now the kundis don't jiggle till I'm rapping,
So please don't pass the gas when you're laughing.
Up the music charts like mango trees I climb,
With a smooth voice like mine, is it a crime?
Representing FOB-iness since ninety-seven
Rap maharaja, I don't work at 7-Eleven.
Throw your hands in the air if you've got facial hair,
Not just for the guys, c'mon ladies be fair!
I'm the MFP - Most FOB-ious Player,
Wearing hot lungis, do you think I really care?
Monday night - computer club
Tuesday night - at Akbaar grocery saying "Sweet thang, what is up?"
Wednesday - I'm out making rupees
Thurday - On lookout for Bharatnatyam queen
Friday - Everybody must know where I'm at, coz I'm chilling on the field with my big cricket bat.
Saturday - my farts are breezy ... believe me, so strong they will get you mad dizzy,
Sunday - Yaar, I cannot start weeping because on Monday I will start the creeping ... Hallo!
Ohhhh ... I love that my friend!
Yaa dawg, that was a funda-stic. Hey thank you, you're fabulous!
Oh, thank you my friend! Oh ...
Welcome to India where the cows eat hay,
and we drive auto-rickshaws everyday,
Goat meats, yummy sweets, wild monkeys roaming,
The roosters don't crow till five in the morning! (2x)
Oh, oh, go Luda, go Luda.
Ah, it's my birthday!
That is your birthday, man!
Yaaaaah. You go boy!
Oh oh oh ... it's great!
Ah, Indian honor my friend. Good night!
All right, goodbye ... kiss my buttocks!!
If you don't know Ludacris' original Welcome to Atlanta, play it here:
3 mts 20 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Yaa, MC Vikram and Luda Krishna representing y'all,
That's right ... increase the volume please ... thank you.
Welcome to India, mango juices and lassis, samosa crazy desis
and little kids that are milking the bhainses.
Toothbrush in my pocket, what is that?
We use our fingers here to keep our teeth so clear, who said that?
Luda Krishna here, Vikram pulling the Tata gears,
and I am sitting in the Maruti Supreme
with the cooling glass on no one bothers me,
biggest stars since the ever famous Mamooty.
Come with me to a place where we sip Frooties,
and we eat the sweets while monkeys roam the streets.
Old uncle sits - big bellies and burps smelly (burp!)
Thank you Vikram, would you please pass the jelly,
I mean the pickle, hand it down this way ... Namaste
we greet the people as they enter the train!
Sixty-five people hanging out, the doors start coming out.
Therefore, please don't raise your hand, you are not sure.
I walked into the local corner-store,
bought myself a very nice looking carroms board.
My fingers get sore when I shoot and I score,
and the ladkis all scream coz they all want some more,
of the Luda Krishna and the Vikram MC,
Sweetest thing to hit the States since mango chutney.
We keep the kundis shaking, you better trust me.
The name is Luda Krishna, but my friends call me Thambi, watch!! (burp!)
Ohhh, Vikram, is that you my friend?!
That is me my friend!
Oh, please enter this rap game!
Ok man! C'mon ... tell me where you're going my friend.
Welcome to India where the cows eat hay,
and we drive auto-rickshaws everyday,
Goat meats, yummy sweets, wild monkeys roaming,
The roosters don't crow till five in the morning! (2x)
Now the kundis don't jiggle till I'm rapping,
So please don't pass the gas when you're laughing.
Up the music charts like mango trees I climb,
With a smooth voice like mine, is it a crime?
Representing FOB-iness since ninety-seven
Rap maharaja, I don't work at 7-Eleven.
Throw your hands in the air if you've got facial hair,
Not just for the guys, c'mon ladies be fair!
I'm the MFP - Most FOB-ious Player,
Wearing hot lungis, do you think I really care?
Monday night - computer club
Tuesday night - at Akbaar grocery saying "Sweet thang, what is up?"
Wednesday - I'm out making rupees
Thurday - On lookout for Bharatnatyam queen
Friday - Everybody must know where I'm at, coz I'm chilling on the field with my big cricket bat.
Saturday - my farts are breezy ... believe me, so strong they will get you mad dizzy,
Sunday - Yaar, I cannot start weeping because on Monday I will start the creeping ... Hallo!
Ohhhh ... I love that my friend!
Yaa dawg, that was a funda-stic. Hey thank you, you're fabulous!
Oh, thank you my friend! Oh ...
Welcome to India where the cows eat hay,
and we drive auto-rickshaws everyday,
Goat meats, yummy sweets, wild monkeys roaming,
The roosters don't crow till five in the morning! (2x)
Oh, oh, go Luda, go Luda.
Ah, it's my birthday!
That is your birthday, man!
Yaaaaah. You go boy!
Oh oh oh ... it's great!
Ah, Indian honor my friend. Good night!
All right, goodbye ... kiss my buttocks!!
If you don't know Ludacris' original Welcome to Atlanta, play it here:
3 mts 20 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Allow me to fascinate you
Little Johnny Strikes Again...
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my Granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried.
A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my Granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating".
Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."
The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him.
Johnny said, "My Aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight."
The teacher cried.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Famous last photos...
A picture says a thousand words. Famous last words are passé. Welcome to "the last photo I ever took"
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Types of Girls: The techie's perspective
HARD-DISK Girls: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls: Of every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything..
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls: Of every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything..
Friday, December 10, 2004
Thursday, December 09, 2004
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