Sunday, October 30, 2005

DOC: The $2000 Car

The Tatas of India are coming up with a brand new $2000 car. The GMs and Fords of the world are watching with bated breath.

Click here to read

Monday, October 17, 2005

VIDEO: What Men and Women Fight About

1 mts 01 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

0 mts 22 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Escalator Angel

"Live in such a way that those who know you but don't know God will come to know God because they know you." - Anonymous

The crisp February morning chilled the crowd that waited to catch the MARTA, Atlanta's public rail system. When the train arrived, I moved with the others toward vacant seats. Mechanical sounds punctuated the trip: the humming of electric motors and the loud bell before the doors slid shut.

As we settled into our parallel journeys, I looked around. I work at home, and consequently don't often take public transit at rush hour. This morning I was on my way into the city for a seminar. The size and diversity of the crowd on the train surprised me. In our single car, there were African-Americans, European-Americans and Asians -- a generous representation of world society.

But there was no interaction. Business men and women had their briefcases open, poring over papers filled with charts and columns. Casually dressed students studied books. One young man had headphones on and swayed in a slow dance to his private music. I'm a fiction man, myself. I travel with a novel handy.

But today I didn't open it. I was too busy studying those around me; something felt strange.

I didn't realize what it was until I'd disembarked at Five Points, the connecting point for the east and west trains. In this cavernous space, I joined perhaps a thousand commuters waiting for their trains.

Here I realized what was so eerie: the total silence. One thousand people, packed cheek to jowl, looking straight ahead, pretending the others didn't exist. And I, a 50-year-old white man, wearing a blue suit and glasses, was one of them. The only sound two stories under Atlanta's streets was the hum of the escalators.

And then came a woman's voice. "Good Morning!"

The greeting echoed through the station. A thousand heads snapped up in unison, scanning the space. The voice had come from a woman riding the descending escalator on the far side of the platform. "How y'all this morning?"

She practically sang her words, punctuating her speech with long vowel extensions. People began to turn toward her.

The petite African-American woman reached the bottom of the escalator and walked purposefully to the edge of the throng. She grabbed a surprised businessman's hand, shook it and looked him in the eye. "Good morning! How ya doing this morning?"

The man looked at the small woman who had him in her grip. He broke with a smile. "Fine, thank you."

Her clothes were a little ragged, but her purposeful smile overcame her stature and appearance as she moved through the crowd, shouting greetings, shaking hands and laughing freely. Finally, she looked across the tracks at the crowd on my side of the platform. "How ya'll folks over there this morning?"

"Just fine" I shouted back. Others answered with me. We surprised each other so much that we broke out laughing.

"That's good," she said. She paused and looked around. Now everyone was listening. "God sent me here to cheer you up this morning. And that's the God of the Jew, the Christian, the Muslim and any other religions ya'll brought or didn't bring along."

From where I stood, I could see a twinkle in her eye. Amazingly, the train station came alive with good-natured conversation. As we chatted with each other, few noticed the slight woman quietly ascend the up escalator.

When the northbound train arrived, I squeezed into a car already stuffed with riders. I didn't get much past the door and grabbed a chrome pole that already had hands of every racial color gripping it. My face looked straight into that of an African-American woman about my age. She wore a light yellow business suit. I sensed she didn't like the press of people around us.

Before I could stop myself, I said, "Good morning."

"What?" she seemed surpised.

"Good morning. How are you doing?" A few people watched us. A smile overtook her. "Fine," she chuckled. "You know, nobody's asked me that this morning. Really, nobody ever says hello."

I grinned and told her about the unexpected visitor back at Five Points, wondering aloud if she might have been an angel. "Isn't that what angels do? They're messengers. That woman demonstated the goodness of simply greeting each other, sharing our humanity, instead of guarding it."

Others around the pole joined the discussion, and smiles spread through the car.

The woman across from me, now grinning, said "If It weren't so crowded in here, I'd give you a good hug. You've made my morning."

When the train arrived at my stop, I moved toward the door. "I hope you have a good day!" I called back to my fellow traveler.

"I will, and thank you."

As I looked back into the car, I saw lots of smiles. People were chatting. Someone else touched my shoulder and waved goodbye. I felt happy and alive.

Since then, I've often wondered who that woman was. She didn't have wings; she ascended and descended an escalator and she spoke in a Southern drawl. But silent people who were temporarily buried two stories below Atlanta began to talk and laugh. A chilly February day felt warmer, and a shy guy like me suddenly hasn't been able to keep himself from greeting and talking with strangers on subway trains, elevators and airplanes. But isn't that what a more famous angelic message proclaimed: "Good will to all"?

Monday, October 03, 2005

VIDEO: Dan Nainan Leaves Seattle in Splits

23 mts 07 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Stand-up comedian Dan Nainan performs at Moore Theater in Seattle

Saturday, October 01, 2005

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

The responses of Indian personalities when posed the eternal question:

Atal Behari Vajpayee : "Chicken ?" (3 minute pause) "Let me compose An Ode to a Chicken in my shudh Hindi... "

Fernandes:"I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken !!!"

Mulayam:"I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned"

Abdul Kalam:"Yes, why did the chicken cross the road? ... please tell me why? .. they crossed to go to the other side of the road... now repeat after me ...."

Advani: "I see the hands of Pakistan in this ..."

Bal Thackarey: "Chickens crossing the roads is against our culture, my followers (gundas) will stone all such chickens which cross the road".

Jayalalitha:"From a reliable source I've got the information that the chicken belongs to Karunanidhi who made his chicken cross the road to create law & order problems. The chicken is now imprisoned under POTO".

Mamta Baneerji:"I'm made Union Railbay minstaar, I bill shee that chickans will trable by train... no cross road anymoore!".

A.K Antony:"Zimmmmply! ...that's a question you should ask Karunakuran..Heee, heee."

Amitabh Bhachan:"The chicken has crossed the road?.. are you sure.. very sure ... really sure..."

Sonia Ghandhi:"That the chicken crossed the road clearly demonstrates the fact that the people and chicken have lost confidence in the Government. The Government should own moral responsibility and resign!!!"

Narendra Modi: "I called out the army and have brought the chicken crossing incidents under control within 72 hours. The media is blowing it out of proportion."

Ekta Kapoor: "The chicken krossed the road 'kause "k"it kould "k"not "k"tolerate "k"her "k"saas's "k"torture."

Mukesh & Anil Ambani: "Though the chicken moved forward it was a right step in backward integration. Reliance shareholders will will get a 1:5 egg bonus."

Maneka Gandhi:"Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a vehicle had passed over it, we would have lost one of our dearest creatures. Ban all vehicles from using the road. Protect Our Chickens..."

Salman Khan:"I ran over the chicken(Hic!). t was not intentional ... It was accidental (Hic!)... you're now asking this question to me only because I'm a celebrity(Hic!)".

Abu Salem:"Hmmm delicious chicken... Monica darling want a bite ...now what was that question!?"

Sachin Tendulkar: "I will let my bat do the talking. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go for another ad shoot."

Saurav Ganguly: "Nowhere is it written in our BCCI contract that we have to answer such questions. I will take this issue up with the players' association."

Sri Sri Ravi Shanker: "The answer lies within you. Seek it. Your insecurities and anxieties prevent you understanding simple actions like a chicken crossing the road. Please sign up for my Art of Living course for Rs 5000 and everything will become clear."

Azharuddin:"I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority..... I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know...."

Deve Gowda:"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....mmmm...mm... chicken ??? Thanks, I'll have it later !! mm.. snooore... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

Friday, September 30, 2005

Do you know the meaning of tenjewberrymuds?

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You willunderstandwhat 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest androom-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the Far East EconomicReview:

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them?
Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wansahntoes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin webodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it!

You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin webodderon sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

VIDEO: How to Open Beer

0 mts 31 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Saturday, September 17, 2005

VIDEO: A Little Teamwork

1 mt 04 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

I was looking for a specific video on teamwork when I came across this hilarious clip. Enjoy!

Friday, September 16, 2005

Chances of a Man Winning an Argument



UPDATE: Received again June 12, 2006

Sunday, September 04, 2005

VIDEO: Candid Camera - Belgian Style

1 mts 16 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

GAME: Help the drunk get home



Help the drunk get home. He tends to stumble, fall and sleep. Use your mouse to keep him balanced long enough to reach home. Let's see what's your personal record.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

VIDEO: Jana Gana Mana

6 mts 41 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Bharatbala's music video with A.R.Rahman's rendition of Jana Gana Mana. While the lyrics are largely the same, don't mistake this for the official national anthem of India; the national anthem has a specified play duration of 52 secs, and this video is obviously much longer.

Jana-Gana-Mana-Adhinayaka, Jaya He
Bharata-Bhagya-Vidhata
Punjab-Sindhu-Gujarata-Maratha
Dravida-Utkala-Banga
Vindhya-Himachala-Yamuna-Ganga
Uchchhala-Jaladhi Taranga
Tava Subha Name Jage
Tava Subha Ashisa Mage
Gahe Tava Jaya Gatha.
Jana-Gana-Mangala Dayaka, Jaya He
Bharata-Bhagya-Vidhata,
Jaya He, Jaya He, Jaya He,
Jaya Jaya Jaya, Jaya He


(Thou art the ruler of the minds of all people,
dispenser of India's destiny.
Thy name rouses the hearts of Punjab, Sindh, Gujarat, the Maratha country,
in the Dravida country, Utkala (Orissa) and Banga (Bengal);
It echoes in the hills of the Vindhyas and Himalayas,
it mingles in the rhapsodies of the pure waters Jamuna and the Ganges.
They chant only thy name,
they seek only thy blessings,
They sing only thy praise.
The saving of all people waits in thy hand,
thou dispenser of India's destiny.
Victory, victory, victory to thee.)

Monday, August 01, 2005

VIDEO: Presidential Sex (George Bush Sr. on Ronald Reagan)

14 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

George Bush (Sr.) speaking of Ronald Reagan, "A word about the President: For seven and a half years I've worked alongside him, an I'm proud to have been his partner. And we've had triumphs, we made some mistakes, we've had some sex...er, setbacks"

Thursday, July 28, 2005

The Courageous CFO

A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives "I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!"

Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, "You are amazing. I've never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you."

The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, "You can start by telling me who the hell pushed me in that pool!!"

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

AUDIO: Bush and the new premier of China (Who's Hu?)

2 mts 16 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

VIDEO: Pehchaan (Identity)

6 mts 30 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Kansas University Clultural India Club's Diwali presentation set to the title song from Swades.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Pakistan Maths Question Paper

Examination Paper - Mathematics
Full Marks 100

Instructions:
i) Students found copying will be shot on the spot.
ii) Any student coming late after 10 minutes after the exam starts will be forced to join Al Qayda group .
iii) AK47's and grenades are not allowed in the exam hall. Students may keep their daggers,Revolvers and pack of anthrax bombs only for self defense.
iv) Time 3 hours
v) All questions are compulsory.

1. Abdul was sent to jail for murder .He has 7 wives in his house.
Abdul distributed money to his wives in such a proportion that the youngest and most recent wife receives maximum and oldest wife gets minimum, and each wife gets double of her former competitor. Abdul has 1700 Rupaye left in his house. Abdul's oldest wife needs atleast 25 rupaye per month. Find out the time when Abdul will have to break Jail to come out and earn money so that his wives do not starve.

2. Karim is a Drug seller. Prices per gram of Marijuana, hasis, haroine and LHD s are 50, 60,70,80 Rupaye respectively. Karim offers a discount of Rupaye 20 for his buyers who buys more than 50 grams of drug. If Rahim , a buyer gets Rupaye 37 discount , find out the grams of LHD he bought.

3. Imran tampers the ball thrice per over. He deforms the ball .02% of its original shape each time . Find the percentage deformation the ball due to tampering in a one day series against India in which Imran bowled 9.3 overs.

4. Mohammed has a Company named Al Allah Kidnapping & Murder Private Limited. He has to threat 10 people per day over Telephone. 40% of the people he threats are cinema stars in Mumbai, 30% are Businessman in Delhi, 20% are Cricket Players in Madras and 10% are shopkeepres in Calcutta . If ISD charges are rupaye 15, 25, 40, 50 per minute from Mohammed's city Islamabad to Bombay, Delhi,Calcutta and Madras respectively and he gets a Telephone bill of 10,230 Rupaya in a month Find out The No of Cinema stars in Mumbai ,threatened in that particular month.

5. A terrorist group has to provide one Ak 47.one AK 49,one Rocket Launcher, 50 Grenades and one pack of RDX to its Ron roots for training.One AK 47 costs 100$; One Ak 49 costs 150 $,A Bazuka rocket Launcher costs 250 $ , grenade is 3 $ each, a pack of Rdx Bomb attached with remote Control is 500 $. The terrorist group admits 2000 new people every year out of which 30 % are court-martialed. Find the amt of Foreign Money Pakistan Govt has to provide each year to run such a group.

6. If stabilty of democratic Govt. in pakistan is given by the following equation X exp3 +X exp2 -16 = i, where the notations have their usual meaning; Find out x.

7. Probaliblity of a Pakistani prime minister to be shot is 78%. Probabilty of a Military general to be shot is 80%. Find the joint probability of a Prime minister to be shot who is also a Military general.

8) Find out geometrically the area of Paktunistaan using PI Theorem with Osama BIn Ladens Correction (That is taking the value of PI = 786 instead of 3.14....), if Paktunistaan is taken as a heptagon.

9) A 'GHAURI' missile tries to fly from Drass to Kargil which is not too far from Drass (say 100 miles) and is exactly to the East of Drass . The wind is blowing from the South and the speed of the wind is exactly equal to the speed of the airplane. (The speed of the airplane is measured with respect to the air!) The pilot decides to steer straight to Kargil all the time during the flight. Will the airplane ever reach Kargil ? What if the speed of the wind is k times the speed of the airplane, where k is a positive number (can be greater or less than 1)? Try to sketch the trajectory of the airplane (with respect to the ground, of course) in each of the three cases: k=1, k1 and k<1.

10) Briefly discuss the Unsolved problem of "Bisection of a Triangle" with a Compass and an unmarked ruler if the triangle is named as KASHMIR.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The Chemistry of Trust

A person's level of trust can be changed with a chemical spray

SUSPICION and trust are two sides of the same coin. Over the course of evolution, humans and other animals have walked a line between the need for self-preservation and the benefits and delights of social co-operation. When a swarthy man beckons you into a dimly lit alley, you would do well to walk briskly away, but in reality you might be losing an opportunity to discover a delightful but out-of-the-way little restaurant.

A paper in this week's Nature, by Michael Kosfeld and Markus Heinrichs of the University of Zurich and their colleagues, explores the biological underpinnings of trust in such interactions. The researchers found that trust is surprisingly mechanistic: sniffing a spray containing a hormone called oxytocin increases a person's level of trust in others.

Oxytocin, a hormone produced by part of the brain called the hypothalamus, plays many roles. It stimulates contractions during childbirth and, once a child is born, helps to release milk when its mother feeds it. In some species, notably voles, it has been shown to regulate behaviours such as pair bonding, maternal care and the ease with which an animal will approach a stranger. Dr Kosfeld and Dr Heinrichs therefore had good reason to suspect that it plays a role in trust. They also knew from the work of others that hormones consisting of protein fragments known as peptides can cross into the brain if administered as a nasal spray. Oxytocin is one such peptide.

To probe oxytocin's role in promoting trust between people, the researchers invented a game. This game involved an “investor” and an anonymous “trustee” in whom money, in the form of “monetary units” worth 40 Swiss centimes (32 cents) was invested. Investor and trustee never met, and were allowed to interact only once. In addition to being paid for their time, participants were able to cash their monetary units in at the end of the game, in order to get the proper economic juices flowing. Each investor received 12 units. He could choose to keep all of them, or to give four, eight or all 12 of them to the trustee—which would result in their value being tripled. The trustee then chose whether to reward or abuse the investor's trust by sharing a portion of the proceeds with him.

All the investors and all the trustees had something sprayed up their noses before the experiment started. In some cases, though, there was no oxytocin in this spray. Of the investors who were sprayed with oxytocin, 45% invested the maximum of 12 units, while only 21% of those who received the control spray did so. On average, the oxytocin-sprayed group transferred 17% more money to their trustees than the controls. Oxytocin, therefore, seems to promote trust.

The proof that it is trust that is being promoted, rather than a general bonhomie towards others, or a reduced aversion to risk, comes in two parts. The first is the response of the trustees. These people did not, as some might expect, simply take the money and run. The investors usually got something back, albeit less than half of the trebled amount. But the sum returned did not depend on whether there was oxytocin in the spray a trustee had sniffed—as it might have been expected to if oxytocin promoted generally sociable behaviour, rather than trust specifically.

The second piece of proof that oxytocin is “trust-specific” came when the investors were told that a computer rather than a human trustee would be on the other end of the transaction, and that the amount returned would be decided at random. In this set-up, the oxytocin-sprayed group and the control group invested equal amounts. The researchers thus concluded that oxytocin was not simply lowering a person's risk aversion.

Besides helping to unravel the biological basis of an important emotion, Dr Kosfeld and Dr Heinrichs also raise questions about some of the fundamentals of economics. Studies like these are beginning to shed light on the extent to which humans actually resemble Homo economicus, the proverbial rational economic agent. This particular case raises the possibility that those with different hereditary propensities to produce oxytocin, or different sensitivities towards it, might reach different conclusions when presented with similar economic decisions.

While acknowledging that these results could be put to nefarious use to “induce trusting behaviours that selfish actors subsequently exploit”, the authors hope their findings will instead be used to treat mental disorders such as extreme social phobia. Nevertheless, untrusting readers might beware of strange odours or mysterious vapours in the boardroom.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

MUSIC VIDEO: Blood Brothers (My Soul is in the Same Place)

4 mts 08 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

The above is the music video of Blood Brothers
from Karmacy: The Movement
by Swapnil Shah and Nimesh Patel
The lyrics are in Gujarati and English and tell the story of two brothers, one of whom is besotted by the American Dream

Swap/Nimo
Eye hie soo chaleche yaar,
Kusoo nai baila chokri ne paisa
Mare tho America javuche ne millionaire thavuche
Evu chai, thya su karse ena kartha aiya re
Thane kabar nathi pardthi, India maa kasu nathi
Akho divas bhanvanu ne cricket ramvanu pan ena pachi su
Papa su bolse, mami tho radsej, kochu thane thari sate badha tho lades
Ema su, kasija, ave ooh jowchu, mari jingi pachi lochu avirite moto tochu
Badha ne kaida ooh garib nati revano,
Badha ne kaidas thya America ma revado
Navai lageche, dharma ni yaad nai, todik dook bi nai,
Lagan karis koni sathe
Mare pivuche, tho pivade ah navu pani
Tho jaa, pun maro dil tho resej Hindustani

Chorus
Maru dhil, my heart, maru loi, my blood from the start
Mari nath, my family two worlds apart,
How do I move on bhai,
Kevirithe jais, cuz no matter where I go,
My sould is in the same place

Nimo
dear bro its been a long time since we talked,
four years since I stepped off that plane, how’s mom and pops
as for me I’m workin’ hard learnin’ the ropes of the game
I went from a nobody to lots of fortune and some fame
In my own eyes, I think I’m doing really well,
Got lots of money so tell nobody to worry about my wealth
As for my health, well, it could be a little better
But take care of yourself, love your bro, I’ll storm through this weather
Swap
Maro bhai, mane lageche ke thane bho faveche
Saru tho jivan jivo pun thabyat kevi lageche
Mami ne papa ni yaad aveche ke bulighayo
Emni thabyat bagdeche jare thu pasai pache padigayo
Harigayo, ah jingi aveche ne jaiche
Saru to maro bhai, saro bhai, thu maro dhai chu,
Tho maro bhailu, thu maro dhil chu
Seni mate avirete jivan jivu chu

Nimo/Swap
Hello my brother how are you
Bhai kem che
You like my new suit just got it tailored Sergio valente
Ah mari vow meena ne apri baby chivani, besija kasu kah, cha, nasto ke pani
Here’s a gift for your wife, a baby doll for your girl,
I can’t wait till its my turn to bring a new life into this world
Tho lagan kyare karis, threes varus pathigaya
There’s no time for all that and I refuse to do a biodata
Family joyeche, pun lageche ke maligayo,
Thu ne thara paisa, tharo lagan thaygayo
Let it go, let it flow, I already know where I stand
What I have, my two hands, my one life and my fam
Aah vaat, kari che, ke thu kali kali boluchu,
Why do you keep on asking me this, you know that you know its true
Evu che? I guess that’s it…
Ave ooh America jochu..
No I would never let you go what I’ve gone through

Sunday, June 26, 2005

VIDEO: The Annoying Thing

2 mts 55 secs

Please click the Play button above.

This is driving UK crazy! It's repeated all the time on TV, on radio, as cellphone ringtones, and many people are getting really, really annoyed. Originally drawn as The Annoying Thing, the character is also known as the Crazy Frog.