Saturday, October 01, 2005

So, why did the chicken cross the road?

The responses of Indian personalities when posed the eternal question:

Atal Behari Vajpayee : "Chicken ?" (3 minute pause) "Let me compose An Ode to a Chicken in my shudh Hindi... "

Fernandes:"I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken !!!"

Mulayam:"I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned"

Abdul Kalam:"Yes, why did the chicken cross the road? ... please tell me why? .. they crossed to go to the other side of the road... now repeat after me ...."

Advani: "I see the hands of Pakistan in this ..."

Bal Thackarey: "Chickens crossing the roads is against our culture, my followers (gundas) will stone all such chickens which cross the road".

Jayalalitha:"From a reliable source I've got the information that the chicken belongs to Karunanidhi who made his chicken cross the road to create law & order problems. The chicken is now imprisoned under POTO".

Mamta Baneerji:"I'm made Union Railbay minstaar, I bill shee that chickans will trable by train... no cross road anymoore!".

A.K Antony:"Zimmmmply! ...that's a question you should ask Karunakuran..Heee, heee."

Amitabh Bhachan:"The chicken has crossed the road?.. are you sure.. very sure ... really sure..."

Sonia Ghandhi:"That the chicken crossed the road clearly demonstrates the fact that the people and chicken have lost confidence in the Government. The Government should own moral responsibility and resign!!!"

Narendra Modi: "I called out the army and have brought the chicken crossing incidents under control within 72 hours. The media is blowing it out of proportion."

Ekta Kapoor: "The chicken krossed the road 'kause "k"it kould "k"not "k"tolerate "k"her "k"saas's "k"torture."

Mukesh & Anil Ambani: "Though the chicken moved forward it was a right step in backward integration. Reliance shareholders will will get a 1:5 egg bonus."

Maneka Gandhi:"Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a vehicle had passed over it, we would have lost one of our dearest creatures. Ban all vehicles from using the road. Protect Our Chickens..."

Salman Khan:"I ran over the chicken(Hic!). t was not intentional ... It was accidental (Hic!)... you're now asking this question to me only because I'm a celebrity(Hic!)".

Abu Salem:"Hmmm delicious chicken... Monica darling want a bite what was that question!?"

Sachin Tendulkar: "I will let my bat do the talking. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go for another ad shoot."

Saurav Ganguly: "Nowhere is it written in our BCCI contract that we have to answer such questions. I will take this issue up with the players' association."

Sri Sri Ravi Shanker: "The answer lies within you. Seek it. Your insecurities and anxieties prevent you understanding simple actions like a chicken crossing the road. Please sign up for my Art of Living course for Rs 5000 and everything will become clear."

Azharuddin:"I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority..... I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know...."

Deve Gowda:" chicken ??? Thanks, I'll have it later !! mm.. snooore... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

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