Slope 45
10 years ago
Sunday, December 12, 2004
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Types of Girls: The techie's perspective
HARD-DISK Girls: She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls: Of every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything..
RAM Girls: She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
WINDOWS Girls: Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
SCREENSAVER Girls: She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
INTERNET Girls: Difficult to access.
SERVER Girls: Always busy when you need her.
MULTIMEDIA Girls: She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls: She is always faster and faster.
E-MAIL Girls: Of every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
VIRUS Girls: Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything..
Friday, December 10, 2004
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
So you think you can think?
An interesting quiz for ur Lateral Thinking abilities - Think !
1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work.Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why? (This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying. )
2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! " How can this be?
3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, lumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
4. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.
5. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?
6. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.
(This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its
statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying
solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they
like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of
figuring it out. )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Solutions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the elevator buttons. However,if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.
2. The surgeon was his mother.
3. It was day time.
4. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.
5. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man Drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.
6. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups-so the man no longer needed the water.
1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building. Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the building to go to work.Upon returning from work though, he can only travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way unless it's raining! Why? (This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the canonical answer is truly satisfying. )
2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! " How can this be?
3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, lumper, gloves and balaclava. He is walking down a black street with all the street lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?
4. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a very well-known software company as an interview question for prospective employees.
5. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently died of poisoning. Why did the man not die?
6. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water. The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says 'Thank you' and walks out.
(This puzzle claims to be the best of the genre. It is simple in its
statement, absolutely baffling and yet with a completely satisfying
solution. Most people struggle very hard to solve this one yet they
like the answer when they hear it or have the satisfaction of
figuring it out. )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Solutions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the elevator buttons. However,if it is raining then he will have his umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.
2. The surgeon was his mother.
3. It was day time.
4. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.
5. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man Drank the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning the punch.
6. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the hiccups-so the man no longer needed the water.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Family planning rewards
God asked Subhas Chandra Bose how many children he sired during his time on earth. Subhas relied, "One"
Happy with the good family planning adopted, God gave Bose a Mercedes!
Next was Lal Bahadur Shastri. For his record of three children, he got a cheaper Ford.
Now came Laloo. God was pretty upset to hear about his nine children, and gave him a rickety, old Premier Padmini.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!"
[Ed: Edited for facts about the number of offspring]
Happy with the good family planning adopted, God gave Bose a Mercedes!
Next was Lal Bahadur Shastri. For his record of three children, he got a cheaper Ford.
Now came Laloo. God was pretty upset to hear about his nine children, and gave him a rickety, old Premier Padmini.
Sometime later the three see Mahatma Gandhi returning on foot. They ask why God hadn't given him anything. Gandhiji replied with anger, "Some idiot told God that I was the father of the nation!"
[Ed: Edited for facts about the number of offspring]
VIDEO: Romania is an enchanted land
0 mts 44 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
I was thinking of writing something, but then decided against it. You know what they say: a picture is worth a thousand words, and a video clip is worth a thousand pictures. This clip on seaside Romania certainly leaves one speechless.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
I was thinking of writing something, but then decided against it. You know what they say: a picture is worth a thousand words, and a video clip is worth a thousand pictures. This clip on seaside Romania certainly leaves one speechless.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
DOC: A Concise History of Management BS
As Fortune magazine finds, and documents, management is full of nonsensical hocus-pocus.
Click here to read
Click here to read
VIDEO: Romania
1 mt 00 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
A dear friend just sent this clip to me. It's awesome. And Romania is beautiful.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
A dear friend just sent this clip to me. It's awesome. And Romania is beautiful.
Monday, November 22, 2004
16 things that take a lifetime to learn
16 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN:
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . . They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
by Dave Barry, Nationally Syndicated Columnist
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 21.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14. Your friends love you anyway.
15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
16. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine . . . They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Friday, November 19, 2004
VIDEO: Citroen C4 - Alive With Technology
0 mts 30 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Okay, so this is not that great a commercial. I just like it because a little while ago I participated in a case competition, where the case was on the automobile industry and this commercial would have been made a great exhibit. Unfortunately, I found it too late :-(
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Okay, so this is not that great a commercial. I just like it because a little while ago I participated in a case competition, where the case was on the automobile industry and this commercial would have been made a great exhibit. Unfortunately, I found it too late :-(
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Thursday, November 11, 2004
VIDEO: (Fake) Bush on Jay Leno's Tonight Show
13 mts 09 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Jay Leno interviews the (fake) Bush. Laugh-till-the-soda-squirts-out-of-your-nose funny.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Jay Leno interviews the (fake) Bush. Laugh-till-the-soda-squirts-out-of-your-nose funny.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Monday, November 08, 2004
Ads I Love: FedEx - MBA
0 mts 30 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This one is a classic in its own right. A smartly dressed young manager is setting up his office as the (presumably) administrator walks in, "Hi Tom, I know it's your first day, but we could really use your help."
The eager-to-impress young man follows her, with hopes of an important assignment. His hopes are dashed when the lady asks him to ship a large bunch of packages.
He protests sheepishly, "I don't do shipping." to which the lady dismissively responds, "Oh no no no, it's very easy. We use fedex.com Anybody can do it."
The poor guy tries again, "You don't understand. I have an MBA."
"Oh, you have an MBA? In that case, I have to show you how to do it."
VO: Fedex.com makes shipping so fast and easy, even an MBA can do it.
Yeah, it makes fun of MBAs like me, but hey, it IS fun.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This one is a classic in its own right. A smartly dressed young manager is setting up his office as the (presumably) administrator walks in, "Hi Tom, I know it's your first day, but we could really use your help."
The eager-to-impress young man follows her, with hopes of an important assignment. His hopes are dashed when the lady asks him to ship a large bunch of packages.
He protests sheepishly, "I don't do shipping." to which the lady dismissively responds, "Oh no no no, it's very easy. We use fedex.com Anybody can do it."
The poor guy tries again, "You don't understand. I have an MBA."
"Oh, you have an MBA? In that case, I have to show you how to do it."
VO: Fedex.com makes shipping so fast and easy, even an MBA can do it.
Yeah, it makes fun of MBAs like me, but hey, it IS fun.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Monday, October 25, 2004
What's the name of your kid?
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go..."
"You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go..."
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
VIDEO: Dave Chapell makes fun of George W Bush
6 mts 39 secs
George W doesn't hate blacks. He IS black!
George W doesn't hate blacks. He IS black!
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
VIDEO: Electronic Voting Machines in United States (specifically in Florida)
1 mt 08 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Some interesting questions
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
When dog food is new and better tasting, who tests it?
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
Can you cry under water?
Why do people say, “you've been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
What does OK actually mean?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
What should one call a male ladybird?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why is it called a “building” when it has already been built?
If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
When dog food is new and better tasting, who tests it?
If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
Can you cry under water?
Why do people say, “you've been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?
Do fish ever get thirsty?
Can you get cornered in a round room?
What does OK actually mean?
What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
What should one call a male ladybird?
If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
Can you blow a balloon up under water?
Why is it called a “building” when it has already been built?
If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
Communication Gap: The case for context
Mr. Sharma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody. "
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid. "Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?"
"Yes. . . . . . speaking"
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know! "
"How do YOU know? " stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files! " says the AEC guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files. . . . . ! . HOW ? ? ? ? ? "
"Yes . . . . . . . . . . . . . We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
"GOD ! ! ! ! ! ! . . . . . . . . . this is too much. . . . . . . . . . "
"Madam, I am sorry. . . . . . I am following orders. . . . I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that . . . . . . . let me talk to my husband about this tonight. . . . . he will speak to your company tomorrow "
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning. "What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours? " the husband shouts.
"Just calm down, " says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us. "
"PAY you? and if I refuse? "
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.
"And what would my wife do then? " the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle. "
The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from AEC (Ahmedabad Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid. "Am I speaking to Mrs. Sharma?"
"Yes. . . . . . speaking"
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know! "
"How do YOU know? " stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files! " says the AEC guy .
"What are you saying? It's in your files. . . . . ! . HOW ? ? ? ? ? "
"Yes . . . . . . . . . . . . . We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
"GOD ! ! ! ! ! ! . . . . . . . . . this is too much. . . . . . . . . . "
"Madam, I am sorry. . . . . . I am following orders. . . . I have to inform you are overdue"
"I know that . . . . . . . let me talk to my husband about this tonight. . . . . he will speak to your company tomorrow "
That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning. "What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours? " the husband shouts.
"Just calm down, " says the lady at the reception at AEC, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us. "
"PAY you? and if I refuse? "
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off.
"And what would my wife do then? " the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle. "
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
The Art of Communication: What's the right question?
Jeevan and Mahesh are on the way to a religious service. Jeevan wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
Mahesh replies, "Why don't you ask the Pujari Ji?"
So Jeevan goes up to the Pujari Ji and asks," Pujari Ji , may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Pujari Ji says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jeevan goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Pujari Ji told him. Mahesh says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Mahesh goes up to the Pujari Ji and asks, "Pujari Ji , may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Pujari Ji eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."
Moral: The reply we get depends on the question we ask.
For example: Can I work on this project while I'm on Holidays?
[Ed: This joke is based on an actual incident involving Swami Vivekananda's guru Ramakrishna Paramhans. Ramakrishna used to chant his prayers all through the day, except when, every morning, he would go to the woods to relieve himself. As he grew old, he used to need a disciple's help in walking to the latrine.
The disciple asked, "Swamiji, why do you stop praying while you are relieving yourself?"
Ramakrishna, obviously, said, "Because it is not good to be defecating while I pray."
And the disciple said, "But swamiji, why do you pray at all other times?"
Ramakrishna replied, "Because I want the Lord's name to be on my lips when I die."
The devoted disciple reasoned, "Swamiji, death can come at any time, even when you are relieving yourself. You think defecating while you pray is bad, but it can't be bad to pray while you defecate."
Thereafter, Ramakrishna was praying every waking minute.]
Mahesh replies, "Why don't you ask the Pujari Ji?"
So Jeevan goes up to the Pujari Ji and asks," Pujari Ji , may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Pujari Ji says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jeevan goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Pujari Ji told him. Mahesh says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."
And so Mahesh goes up to the Pujari Ji and asks, "Pujari Ji , may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Pujari Ji eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."
Moral: The reply we get depends on the question we ask.
For example: Can I work on this project while I'm on Holidays?
[Ed: This joke is based on an actual incident involving Swami Vivekananda's guru Ramakrishna Paramhans. Ramakrishna used to chant his prayers all through the day, except when, every morning, he would go to the woods to relieve himself. As he grew old, he used to need a disciple's help in walking to the latrine.
The disciple asked, "Swamiji, why do you stop praying while you are relieving yourself?"
Ramakrishna, obviously, said, "Because it is not good to be defecating while I pray."
And the disciple said, "But swamiji, why do you pray at all other times?"
Ramakrishna replied, "Because I want the Lord's name to be on my lips when I die."
The devoted disciple reasoned, "Swamiji, death can come at any time, even when you are relieving yourself. You think defecating while you pray is bad, but it can't be bad to pray while you defecate."
Thereafter, Ramakrishna was praying every waking minute.]
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
The travails of single South-Indian men
"The Travails of Single South Indian men of conservative upbringing" or "Why we don't get any..."
Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway. What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kandus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)
Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Nepean Sea Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls.
Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa we have named him Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.
If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er.. hello..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a braindead dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.
Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However the northy just has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping we are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention. The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)
How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon yellow rib hugging t shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white trainers a la Rajni in "Badsha".
Sociologically too the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks.
Alas dear friends we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."
In one last effort here we attractive young men have taken on alter egos which may interest some of you women:
1. Gautam Kumar Raja, will now be known as Joshua Perreira
2. Sidin Sunny Vadukut, henceforth will be known as Dev Chopra
3. Ashwath Venkataraman is now Vijay Desai
4. Sudarshan Ramakrishnan no more, from now he is Barath Sharma
5. Gautam Chandrasekharan will now respond to Alyque Shah
Do mail me any time for a meeting with one of the above. One week notice if Italian or Chinese food is involved, or if the individual is expected to dance.
[Ed: This is actually an original blog entry by Sidin Vadukut http://sidin.blogspot.com/2004/05/travails-of-single-south-indian-men-of.html]
Yet another action packed weekend in Mumbai, full of fun, frolic and introspection. I have learnt many things. For example having money when none of your friends have any is as good as not having any. And after spending much time in movie theatres, cafes and restaurants I have gathered many insights into the endless monotony that is the love life of south Indian men. What I have unearthed is most disheartening. Disheartening because comprehension of these truths will not change our status anytime soon. However there is also cause for joy. We never stood a chance anyway. What loads the dice against virile, gallant, well educated, good looking, sincere mallus and tams? (Kandus were once among us, but Bangalore has changed all that.)
Our futures are shot to hell as soon as our parents bestow upon us names that are anything but alluring. I cannot imagine a more foolproof way of making sure the child remains single till classified advertisements or that maternal uncle in San Francisco thinks otherwise. Name him "Parthasarathy Venkatachalapthy" and his inherent capability to combat celibacy is obliterated before he could even talk. He will grow to be known as Partha. Before he knows, his smart, seductively named northy classmates start calling him Paratha. No woman in their right minds will go anyway near poor Parthasarathy. His investment banking job doesn't help either. His employer loves him though. He has no personal life you see. By this time the Sanjay Singhs and Bobby Khans from his class have small businesses of their own and spend 60% of their lives in discos and pubs. The remaining 40% is spent coochicooing with leather and denim clad muses in their penthouse flats on Nepean Sea Road. Business is safely in the hands of the Mallu manager. After all with a name like Blossom Babykutty he cant use his 30000 salary anywhere. Blossom gave up on society when in school they automatically enrolled him for Cookery Classes. Along with all the girls.
Yes my dear reader, nomenclature is the first nail in a coffin of neglect and hormonal pandemonium. In a kinder world they would just name the poor southern male child and throw him off the balcony. "Yes appa we have named him Goundamani..." THUD. Life would have been less kinder to him anyway.
If all the women the Upadhyays, Kumars, Pintos and, god forbid, the Sens and Roys in the world have met were distributed amongst the Arunkumars, Vadukuts and Chandramogans we would all be merry casanovas with 3 to 4 pretty things at each arm. But alas it is not to be. Of course the south Indian women have no such issues. They have names which are like sweet poetry to the ravenous northie hormone tanks. Picture this: "Welcome, and this is my family. This is my daughter Poorni (what a sweet name!!) and my son Ponnalagusamy (er.. hello..).." Cyanide would not be fast enough for poor Samy. Nothing Samy does will help him. He can pump iron, drive fast cars and wear snazzy clothes, but against a braindead dude called Arjun Singhania he has as much chance of getting any as a Benedictine Monk in a Saharan Seminary.
Couple this with the other failures that have plagued our existence. Any attempt at spiking hair with gel fails miserably. In an hour I have a crown of greasy, smelly fibrous mush. My night ends there. However the northy just has to scream "Wakaw!!!" and you have to peel the women off him to let him breathe. In a disco while we can manage the medium hip shake with neck curls, once the Bhangra starts pumping we are as fluid as cement and gravel in a mixer. Karan Kapoor or Jatin Thapar in the low cut jeans with chaddi strap showing and see through shirt throws his elbows perfectly, the cynosure of all attention. The women love a man who digs pasta and fondue. But why do they not see the simple pleasures of curd rice and coconut chutney? When poor Senthilnathan opens his tiffin box in the office lunch room his female coworkers just dissappear when they see the tamarind rice and poppadums. The have all rematerialised around Bobby Singh who has ordered in Pizza and Garlic bread. (And they have the gall to talk of foreign origin.)
How can a man like me brought up in roomy lungis and oversized polyester shirts ever walk the walk in painted on jeans (that makes a big impression) and neon yellow rib hugging t shirts? All I can do is don my worn "comfort fit" jeans and floral shirt. Which is pretty low on the "Look at me lady" scale, just above fig leaf skirt and feather headgear a la caveman, and a mite below Khakhi Shirt over a red t shirt and baggy khakhi pants and white trainers a la Rajni in "Badsha".
Sociologically too the tam or mallu man is severely sidelined. An average tam stud stays in a house with, on average, three grandparents, three sets of uncles and aunts, and over 10 children. Not the ideal atmosphere for some intimacy and some full throated "WHOSE YOUR DADDY!!!" at the 3 in the morning. The mallu guy of course is almost always in the gulf working alone on some onshore oil rig in the desert. Rheumatic elbows me thinks.
Alas dear friends we are not just meant to set the nights on fire. We are just not built to be "The Ladies Man". The black man has hip hop, the white man has rock, the southie guy only has idlis and tomato rasam or an NRI account in South Indian Bank Ernakulam Branch. Alas as our destiny was determined in one fell swoop by our nomenclature, so will our future be. A nice arranged little love story. But the agony of course does not end there. On the first night, as the stud sits on his bed finally within touching distance and whispers his sweet desires into her delectable ear, she blushes, turns around and whispers back "But amma has said only on second saturdays..."
In one last effort here we attractive young men have taken on alter egos which may interest some of you women:
1. Gautam Kumar Raja, will now be known as Joshua Perreira
2. Sidin Sunny Vadukut, henceforth will be known as Dev Chopra
3. Ashwath Venkataraman is now Vijay Desai
4. Sudarshan Ramakrishnan no more, from now he is Barath Sharma
5. Gautam Chandrasekharan will now respond to Alyque Shah
Do mail me any time for a meeting with one of the above. One week notice if Italian or Chinese food is involved, or if the individual is expected to dance.
[Ed: This is actually an original blog entry by Sidin Vadukut http://sidin.blogspot.com/2004/05/travails-of-single-south-indian-men-of.html]
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
VIDEO: Conan O'Brien on Indian Call-centers
7 mts 49 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Conan O'Brien Late Night Show staff writer Andy Blitz traverses the seven seas to seek a cure for his computer. Hilarious!
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Conan O'Brien Late Night Show staff writer Andy Blitz traverses the seven seas to seek a cure for his computer. Hilarious!
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Monday, September 20, 2004
Sunday, September 19, 2004
VIDEO: We Were Humans
3 mts 10 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Lucca Co's presentation for peace.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Lucca Co's presentation for peace.
Friday, September 17, 2004
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Friday, September 10, 2004
Smart Asian kid in American history class
A smart Japanese child joined a new primary school when her family moved to the United States. Her first American class was on world historical events!! The
teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History:"
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had her hand up.
"Patrick Henry,1775." She said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'"
Again, no response except from Suzuki.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put her hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke [vomit]"
The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumps out of her chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "[California Congressman] Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!"
Suzuki said, "Americans,... in Iraq 2004!"
teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History:"
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had her hand up.
"Patrick Henry,1775." She said.
"Very good! Who said 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'"
Again, no response except from Suzuki.
"Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.
She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki put her hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke [vomit]"
The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumps out of her chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, "[California Congressman] Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted.
And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!"
Suzuki said, "Americans,... in Iraq 2004!"
Stress Release
Click here to download the stress release file.
Once downloaded, double-click on it to execute it. The computer might give you a warning, but just proceed...the computer will give a warning for any executable file...this file has no viruses.
Once downloaded, double-click on it to execute it. The computer might give you a warning, but just proceed...the computer will give a warning for any executable file...this file has no viruses.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
Friday, September 03, 2004
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