Friday, October 26, 2007

The ABC of Punjabidom

A is for Adjust; Punjabis will always ask you to adjust whenever they want to push you around.

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your bum, it is an instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or whatever.

C is for Cloney and its first name is not George nor is it a process for replicating sheep - it is an area where people live eg. Defence Cloney.

E is for Expanditure - and believe me Punjabis are not scared of spending money - the latest cars, marble floors, their ambitions are always Expanding.

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

G is for Gaddi and the way a Punjabi can pilot a car puts any F1 driver to shame, if the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there's no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder and Sukhvinder.

H is for Ho Jayega, the moment you hear that, you have to be very careful because you can be reasonably sure it's not going to happen.

I is for Intezaar. to know more about it see P.

J is for Jindagi and if there's one person who knows how to live life to the full it's a Punjabi.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc - the Punjabi equivalent of the Jones' ie keeping up with the Khuranas.

L is for Lovely but she never is. Nor is Sweety.

M is for Mrooti - the car that moved an entire Punjabi generation.

N is for No problem ji - to find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye which can be surprise (oyye!), a hailing (oyy), anger (OYY) or pain (oy oy oy).

P is for Panch mint and no matter how near (1 km) or far a Punjabi is from you (100 km) they usually say they'll reach you in Panch mint.

Q is for Queue for which there's really no word in Punjabi.

R is for Riks and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one, even if the odds are against them.

S is for Sweetie, Bunty, Pappu and Sonu who seem to own half the cars in Delhi.

T is for the official bird of Punjab - Tandoori chicken.

U is for when U lose your sex appeal and become 'Uncle' ji .

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is War - on the roads.

X is X-rated words they flow freely in casual conversations on the street.

Y is 'You nonsense', anger replacing vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z is for Zig zag for which you should see G, M and P.

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