AUDIO: Andrii Popa - A Romanian folk song

3 mts 29 secs

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This is a folk song's rendition by Pasarea Colibri. Andrii Popa is a folk-hero, something of a Romanian Robin Hood. Enjoy!

Cine trece-n valea seaca Cu hangeru fara teaca Si cu pieptul dezvelit Andrii Popa cel vestit Andrii Popa cel vestit Sapte ani cu voinicie Si-a batut joc de domnie Si tot prada neincetat Andrii Popa hot barbat E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic Zi si noapte tot calare Trage fir din drumu mare Si din tara peste tot Fug neferii cat ce pot Fug neferii cu ce pot Caci el are-o pusca plina Cu trei glonti la radacina Si are un murg de patru ani Care musca din dusmani E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic Si are frati de cruce sapte Ce au supt sangele cu lapte Si nu-i pasa de nimic Andrii Popa cel voinic Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinic E haiduc si e vestit Andrii Popa cel voinïc

Who roams in the dry valley With the sword unsheathed And open chest Andrii Popa the famous For seven years with bravery He has mocked authorities Robbing constantly Andrii Popa the thiefman He's an outlaw and he's famous Andrii Popa the strong Riding day and night Barricades the big roads And from all over the country Tyrants run away as fast as they can ‘Cause he has a loaded gun with 3 bullets at the root and a 4 years old brown horse which bites enemies And he has seven cross-brothers Who have drunk milk with blood And he cares about nothing Andrii popa the strong

It's a dog's life

A butcher watching over his shop is really surprised when he sees a dog coming inside the shop. He shoos him away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices it has a note in its mouth.

He takes the note and it reads "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please? The dog has money in its mouth, as well."

The butcher looks inside and, lo and behold, there is a ten dollar note there. So he takes the money and puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, placing it in the dog's mouth. The butcher is so impressed, and since it's about closing time, he decides to shut the shop and follow the dog.

So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street, when it comes to a level crossing; the dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then it waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to turn. They do, and it walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe as the dog stops a bus by pulling its left leg up and gets in it. The butcher follows the dog into the bus. The dog then shows a ticket which is tied to its belt to the bus conductor. The butcher is nearly fainting at this sight, so are the other passengers in the bus. The dog then sits near the driver's seat looking outside. As soon as the stop is in sight, the dog stands and wags its tail to inform the conductor. Then, without waiting for the bus to stop completely, it jumps out of the bus and runs to a house very close to the stop.

It opens the big Iron Gate and rushes inside towards the door. As it approaches the wooden door, the dog suddenly changes its mind and heads towards the garden. It goes to the window, and beats its head against it several times, walks back, jumps off, and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts abusing the dog, kicking him and punching him, and swearing at him. The butcher surprised with this, runs up, and stops the guy.

"What in heaven's name are you doing? The dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for the life of me! "To which the guy responds: "You call this clever? This is the second time this week that this stupid dog's forgotten his key."

Moral of the story.....

You may continue to exceed onlookers expectations but shall always fall short of the boss' expectations.

It's a dog's life after all.....

This is Globalization

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalisation?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess . . .

with an Egyptian boyfriend . .

crashes in a French tunnel . . .

driving a German car . . .

with a Dutch engine . . .

driven by a Belgian . . .

who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change

the spelling). . .

followed closely by Italian Paparazzi . . .

on Japanese motorcycles . . ,

treated by an American doctor . . .

using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an Indian . . .

using Bill Gates's technology and . . .

you're probably reading this on your computer - that use Taiwanese chips . .

and a Korean monitor . . .

assembled by Bangladeshi workers . . .

in a Singapore plant . . .

transported by Indian truck drivers . . .

hijacked by Indonesians . . .

unloaded by Sicilian wharfies . . .

and trucked to you by Mexican illegals . . .

That, my friend, is Globalisation!!

Santa Banta Strike Back

Banta’s son: dad there is some one on the door 2 collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: give him a glass of water.

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Santa singh got his first job, came home and told his parents the good nows. He told them, "but I will not get any vacation until I get married."

His father asked him, “how is that?”

Santa singh explained that the benefit manual says, “vacation time may not be taken until you have had your first anniversary.”

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Santa : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and the other one is blue with red spots!
Banta : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

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Santa: What is the difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Banta: A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!

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Banta: When did George Washington die ?
Santa: Two days before his FUNERAL

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Banta : Tell me five FERROCIOUS animals you can think of...
Santa : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.

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Banta singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say. "They should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta singh. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE.

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Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other.
Santa singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta singh : Yes, I have.
Santa singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?
Santa singh : Yes, I have.
Banta singh : Well, my father killed it.

Philosophy and Proof

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, propped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. As is usual for philosophy exams, most students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair.

One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "Which chair?"

Ads I Hate: IBM - I'm Not Like Everybody Else

1 mt 00 secs

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This ad sucks so badly, that I had to create this special category "Ads I Hate". Seriously, what were they thinking? Probably, this sort of thinking is what led to the downfall of the Big Blue.

I mean, the commercial sets a negative tone right in the beginning with that factory chimney from which cute blue flowers float out. Contrary to whatever the admakers' intention must have been, it looks like a truant, polluting factory. And though the people keep singing the catchily composed "I'm not like everybody else", they all look the same. They all look like automatons churned out of some human factory. I am sure this is not by design.

VIDEO: When the President Talks to God by Bright Eyes

3 mts 07 secs

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Jay Leno had Bright Eyes perform "When the President Talks to God" on his show.

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's' rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
We should find some jobs. the ghetto's broke
No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

It's tough out there for a dick

It ain't easy being a dick!

I've got a head I can't think with...

...an eye I can't see out of...

...I have to hang around with two nuts all the time...

...my closest neighbor is a real asshole...

...my best friend is a pussy...

...and everytime I get excited I throw up :-(

About Mahabharat: Wait a minute!

In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.

Masterji: "Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put vasudev n devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning... Second one is born n kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born..."

Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous n confused)

Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole india does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come u have one?"

Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to Kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?

Masterji fainted........................

Magnificent Bridges

VIDEO: Bush Milks a Male Horse

5 mts 15 secs