Sunday, February 27, 2005

Ads I Love: Talk Talk

0 mts 41 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Here's one phone company ad that is different from the herd. The ad agency actually did apply some thought into the conceptualization and execution.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Ads I Love: Companhia Athletica

0 mts 21 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Here's something to motivate you to get in shape: If you don't, the infant may start sucking on your male breasts.

Not Another Sardarji Joke

A sardarji enters a contest to win a million dollar prize. The questions were as follows:

1) How long was the 100 year war?
A) 116 B) 99 C) 100 D) 150
Sardar says "I will skip this"

2) In which country are the Panama hats made?
A) BRASIL B) CHILE C) PANAMA D) EQUADOR
Sardar asks for help from the University students

3) In which month do the Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
A) JANUARY B) SEPTEMBER C) OCTOBER D) NOVEMBER
Sardar asks for help from general public

4) Which of these was King George VI first name?
A) EDER B) ALBERT C) GEORGE D) MANOEL
Sardar asks for lucky cards

5) The Canary Islands, in the Pacific Ocean, has its name based on which animal:
A) CANARY BIRD B) KANGAROO C) PUPPY D) RAT
Sardar gives up.

Did that make you laugh? Good. Now, if you think of yourself as clever, chew this:

1) The 100 year war lasted 116 years from 1337-1453
2) The Panama hat is made in Equador
3) The October revolution is celebrated in November
4) King George's first name was Albert. In 1936 he changed his name.
5) Puppy. The Latin name is INSULARIA CANARIA which means islands of the puppies.

In Case Nobody Smiled at You Today...


There you go.

What Women Want

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah.

This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!" The man sat and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick.

Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete...how much steel!! No-think of another wish."

The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women....know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment....know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say 'nothing'....know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

CIA Recruiting Test

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were 3 finalists. Two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!

The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.

"This gun is loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Monday, February 14, 2005

Wishes for Love and Things Like That





















Sunday, February 13, 2005

Travelling in India? Here's How to Identify the Cities

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right.
You are in Kolkata

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on.
That's Mumbai

Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along & tries to make peace. The first two get together & beat him up.
That's Delhi

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall
That's Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes he writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program.
That's BANGALORE

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't like all this nonsense. Peace comes in.
That's Chennai.

Scenario 7
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on mobile. Now 50 guys are fighting.
You are DEFINITELY IN PUNJAB (pick any city)

Friday, February 11, 2005

VIDEO: Aishwarya Rai on Late Show with Letterman

7 mts 50 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Aish appeared in David Letterman's CBS show on Feb 08. Letterman introduced her as the person "often called the most beautiful woman in the world".

While I've been growing disenchanted with the former Miss World for some time, and while many people complained about her "stupid, incessant giggling" on Letterman's show, I found the interview rather charming. Letterman's approach was uncharacteristically cautious and respectful, and Aish came across as nervous, strong and diva-ish. Overall, an interesting interview. Watch for yourself.

Friday, February 04, 2005

Keane Worldzen's How to Succeed


Click on the image above to see the next lesson.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Garfield's Perfect World








Hot Coffee for You

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

VIDEO: Incredible India!

1 mt 01 sec

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

India IS incredible. Happy republic day, countrymen.

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Wives Over the Ages





Saturday, January 22, 2005

VIDEO: 405 (Plane Landing)

2 mts 24 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

Ever found a normally busy highway empty? Beware, if you ever do. And beware of the little old ladies. This video tells the story of what happens when a plane lands on a highway instead of the runway.

Friday, January 21, 2005

The New 7 Wonders of the World

Boley toh:

1. Apun


2. Apunki smile


3. Apunka style


4. Apunki personality


5. Apunka nature


6. Apunke messages


aur
7. Apunka friend...boley to TUM

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

26 Reasons Why Men Are Proud of Themselves

1. Men know stuff about tanks.

2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.

3. Men can open all their own jars.

4. Men can make decisions without a support group.

5. Men can leave a hotel bed unmade.

6. Men can kill our own food.

7. Men get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

8. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

9. If someone forgets to invite men to something they can still be our friend.

10. Underwear is less than £10 a three-pack.

11. Three pairs of shoes are more than adequate.

12. Men don't have to clean the house if the meter reader is coming.

13. Car mechanics tell us the truth.

14. Men can sit quietly and watch TV with a friend for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at me."

15. Grey hair and wrinkles only add character.

16. Men can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

17. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.

18. Mens pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

19. Men are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colours.

20. Men are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

21. The same hairstyle lasts for years-maybe decades.

22. We don't have to shave below the neck.

23. A few belches are expected and tolerated.

24. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

25. Men can do their nails with a penknife.

26. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and be done in 45 minutes.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

VIDEO: Martin Luther King, Jr. has a dream

0 mts 28 secs

Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.

For your viewing pleasure, here's a video clip from the historic "I have a dream" speech.

Dr. King uttered these immortal words at the steps of Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963. Here's a transcript:

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.

One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring." And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

Monday, January 17, 2005

Fun Optical Illusions

Are the red lines straight?

Yes!

Are the grey lines straight?

Yes!

Are the horizontal grey lines parallel or sloping?

Parallel

Which line is C part of? A or B or neither?

B

Spiral or Concentric circles?

Concentric circles

Spiral or Concentric circles?

Concentric circles

Which one of the two center dots is bigger?

Neither - both are of exactly the same size

Count the black dots

That's right - There are none!

Focus on the black dot. After a while the grey haze will seem to shrink.


Take this color test


Mirror Image?


Is the book facing you or away from you?


Horse head or Seal


Duck or Rabbit

(The duck is facing left, the rabbit is facing right)

Duck or Rabbit version 2.0

(The duck is facing left, the rabbit is facing right)

Eskimo or Red Indian

(Face of native looking left, Eskimo full body looking right-back)

Horse or Frog

(Turn the picture sideways and then answer)

Face or "Liar"


Dolphins or Couple


Man playing horn or Face of a woman

(The speck hanging in front of the horn handle is the woman's eye)

Evil face or Several women at a party


One face or Two

(One face front shot, Two faces profiles)

Woman in vanity or Skull


Old couple or Singers

(The eyes of the old couple are the faces of the singers)

Young woman or Old hag

(Necklace of young woman is the mouth of the old woman)

Magic carpet


Playing to an audience?


Can you see the baby in this picture?


Can you spot the horses in this picture?


Do you see the deers in the forest?


Impossible shelves


Impossible block


Impossible fork


Impossible elephant


Impossible balcony


Focus on the center circle. After a while it will seem to move like a magnifying glass.


Focus on this design. Does it seem to boom like a large speaker?


Ship

If you think the ship is sailing, look again!

Rollers

If you think anything is moving, look again!

Wave

If you think anything is moving, look again!

Wheels

If you think anything is moving, look again!