Bush's Dear Barry letter...

Published in the Metro, Jan 21, 2009:

As is traditional, outgoing US president George W Bush left a note for his successor in the top drawer of his desk in the Oval Office. The White House declined to reveal the exact details of the letter to Barak Obama but Metro would like to think it went something like this...

Dear Barry,

First and foremosting, I would like to congratulatise you on getting the job. It will be great to have someone come in and bring a finished completion to all the work I did. I have to warn you, though, Baz, being president isn't all laughs. There are a lot of boring speeches to sit through.
But I think you will make a great commander-in-chife. You've got what I've got - charismaticism. And that goes a long way. I also dig the way you got all those famous people on your side - they didn't take much to me. But I like that Jon Bono Jovi who sang a few days before your augmentation - eh's a good guy.
My daddy once told me: 'Eat your vegetables, Georger Jnr'. And was right. Well, now it's my turn to give some advisementary words. Don't let people misunderestimate you the way they misunderestimated me - I hope you don't misunderstanderate what I'm getting at there, Baz. I know I used a lot of big words in that sentence.
Being the president is a bit like grabbing a bull by its horns - you gotta go up to that bull and grabs his horns. In a metaphosphorical sense, of course. If you grab a real bull by the horns you won't be the president for too long. You should maybe write that one down.
I've left you some pretzels on my desk an, before I forget, I've also left you a crisis in the Middle East and a bad economy - in London, Engerland, they're calling that a 'credit crunch'. Ain't that cute? Sounds like a breakfast cereal to me, Baz. Next time you're in No1, Downing street, tell Gordon Ramsay I said 'hi'.
So I guess that's all I got for ya. I know you'll be a super leader. They made a movie about me after my eight years were up, so if they do the same with you I guess you'll know you've done a good job. Good luck, Baz!

Yours facefully,

Dubya (spelt with a 'W')

Ps: Sorry about the lawn.... Barney's little weapons of mass destruction! (A joke)