A warning will appear. Click OK to allow the ActiveX control required to play this video.
Allow the controller to load above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
The first used of iPod as a verb!
Slope 45
10 years ago
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Ads I Love: iPod your BMW
0 mts 31 secs
A warning will appear. Click OK to allow the ActiveX control required to play this video.
Allow the controller to load above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
The first used of iPod as a verb!
A warning will appear. Click OK to allow the ActiveX control required to play this video.
Allow the controller to load above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
The first used of iPod as a verb!
Sunday, July 18, 2004
VIDEO: Tata Indica - Liar
0 mts 47 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This is another ad that I don't necessarily love, but have put up on public demand.
When a obscenely compulsive liar praises the Indica, he realizes that he has just spoken the truth.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This is another ad that I don't necessarily love, but have put up on public demand.
When a obscenely compulsive liar praises the Indica, he realizes that he has just spoken the truth.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Ads I Love: Corporate Meeting
0 mts 28 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
“Ah Ted. Perfect timing. You remember Annette?”
“Of course”.
A passionate kiss follows.
“And you must be Jeffries”.
Another kiss.
“Pleasure. This is Linda from accounting.”
Another kiss.
And another kiss from Annette.
“Ted. You old dog. How’s that golf game?”
The women kiss. The men kiss.
Text: “SHAKING HANDS SPREADS MORE GERMS THAN KISSING.”
“So it doesn’t really seem like a Tuesday does it.”
Science World. We can Explain.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
“Ah Ted. Perfect timing. You remember Annette?”
“Of course”.
A passionate kiss follows.
“And you must be Jeffries”.
Another kiss.
“Pleasure. This is Linda from accounting.”
Another kiss.
And another kiss from Annette.
“Ted. You old dog. How’s that golf game?”
The women kiss. The men kiss.
Text: “SHAKING HANDS SPREADS MORE GERMS THAN KISSING.”
“So it doesn’t really seem like a Tuesday does it.”
Science World. We can Explain.
Ads I Love: Women Love Smokers
1 mt 01 sec
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This is without a doubt one of the absolute best ads I have seen.
* SPOILER ALERT *
A hot chic is driving a cool convertible along a deserted countryside road, and a young man tries to thumb a ride. The girl ignores the hitch-request and drives by. Bored and frustrated, the guy lights up. The girl sees this in the rear-view mirror, backs the car up, and asks the guy to hop in. And then comes the super that says:
Women feel safe with men who smoke.
Smoking causes impotency.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This is without a doubt one of the absolute best ads I have seen.
* SPOILER ALERT *
A hot chic is driving a cool convertible along a deserted countryside road, and a young man tries to thumb a ride. The girl ignores the hitch-request and drives by. Bored and frustrated, the guy lights up. The girl sees this in the rear-view mirror, backs the car up, and asks the guy to hop in. And then comes the super that says:
Women feel safe with men who smoke.
Smoking causes impotency.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
VIDEO: Tendulkar to Moin Khan
21 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Sachin Tendulkar bowls to Moin Khan. A performance to remember. A distant memory?
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Sachin Tendulkar bowls to Moin Khan. A performance to remember. A distant memory?
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
GAME: A Twist on the Mouse Maze
Click on the Start button above. Then...
Use arrow keys to help the mouse get to the cheese. The first round is simple. In second round, the arrow keys are changed. In the third round, the arrow keys change dynamically during the game. A case for consistent interface.
Thursday, June 24, 2004
Friday, June 11, 2004
Thursday, June 10, 2004
VIDEO: Vande Mataram
4 mts 51 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This video marked the birth of the slick national-integration music-videos. This first of Bharatbala productions from 1998 does make the little hair on the back of your neck stand up. It does manage to inspire pride and patriotism. Vande mataram, countrymen.
P.S. - Vande Mataram is, of course, the national song of India. For many freedom-fighters it was a greeting, war-cry and sacred hymn. The above video is not a music video of the national song, even though it does borrow the title. The national song is as under:
Vande mataram, vande mataram, vande mataram
Vande mataram, vande mataram, vande mataram
Sujalam sufalam malyajasheetalam
Shashyashyamalam mataram
Shubra jyotsna pulkit yaminim
Phulla kusumit drumdalshobhinim
Suhasinim sumadhur bhashinim
Sikhdam vardam mataram
Kotikotikanth kalkalninand karale
Kotikotibhujairdhritkharvale
Ke bole ma tumi abley
Bahubaldharinim namamitarinim
Ripudal varinim mataram
(Mother, I bow to thee!
Rich with thy hurrying streams,
bright with orchard gleams,
Cool with thy winds of delight,
Green fields waving Mother of might,
Mother free.
Glory of moonlight dreams,
Over thy branches and lordly streams,
Clad in thy blossoming trees,
Mother, giver of ease
Laughing low and sweet!
Mother I kiss thy feet,
Speaker sweet and low!
Mother, to thee I bow.
Who hath said thou art weak in thy lands
When the sword flesh out in the seventy million hands
And seventy million voices roar
Thy dreadful name from shore to shore?
With many strengths who art mighty and stored,
To thee I call Mother and Lord!
Though who savest, arise and save!
To her I cry who ever her foeman drove
Back from plain and Sea
And shook herself free.)
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
This video marked the birth of the slick national-integration music-videos. This first of Bharatbala productions from 1998 does make the little hair on the back of your neck stand up. It does manage to inspire pride and patriotism. Vande mataram, countrymen.
P.S. - Vande Mataram is, of course, the national song of India. For many freedom-fighters it was a greeting, war-cry and sacred hymn. The above video is not a music video of the national song, even though it does borrow the title. The national song is as under:
Vande mataram, vande mataram, vande mataram
Vande mataram, vande mataram, vande mataram
Sujalam sufalam malyajasheetalam
Shashyashyamalam mataram
Shubra jyotsna pulkit yaminim
Phulla kusumit drumdalshobhinim
Suhasinim sumadhur bhashinim
Sikhdam vardam mataram
Kotikotikanth kalkalninand karale
Kotikotibhujairdhritkharvale
Ke bole ma tumi abley
Bahubaldharinim namamitarinim
Ripudal varinim mataram
(Mother, I bow to thee!
Rich with thy hurrying streams,
bright with orchard gleams,
Cool with thy winds of delight,
Green fields waving Mother of might,
Mother free.
Glory of moonlight dreams,
Over thy branches and lordly streams,
Clad in thy blossoming trees,
Mother, giver of ease
Laughing low and sweet!
Mother I kiss thy feet,
Speaker sweet and low!
Mother, to thee I bow.
Who hath said thou art weak in thy lands
When the sword flesh out in the seventy million hands
And seventy million voices roar
Thy dreadful name from shore to shore?
With many strengths who art mighty and stored,
To thee I call Mother and Lord!
Though who savest, arise and save!
To her I cry who ever her foeman drove
Back from plain and Sea
And shook herself free.)
Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Monday, May 24, 2004
A Christmas Gift
Click here to download the stress release file.
Once downloaded, double-click on it to execute it. The computer might give you a warning, but just proceed...the computer will give a warning for any executable file...this file has no viruses.
Once downloaded, double-click on it to execute it. The computer might give you a warning, but just proceed...the computer will give a warning for any executable file...this file has no viruses.
Sunday, May 23, 2004
Bra Codes
Have you ever wondered why bras are lettered A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, H and how the letters are actually used to define bra sizes?
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!
A Friend Is Like A Good Bra...
Hard to Find
Supportive
Comfortable
Always Lifts You Up
Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging
And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!
Send this to all women to have a laugh AND, don't forget to have a mammogram!!!!!!
Friday, May 21, 2004
All-India Jokes
Bengali Jokes
What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh.
An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong
A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee
An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee
An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu
A Bengali who works?
A work of fiction
A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu
A Bengali marriage?
Bedding
A Bengali voyeur?
Keyhollo
A mad Bengali?
In Sen
A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha
A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli
A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass
A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla
What's bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal
What s common between Bengalis and sperms?
Only 1 in a million works
When does a Bengali sound like a dog?
When he says wow(Bow)
What does a ghati call a burping Bong?
Mukhopadrya
What do you call a Bengali who doesn't eat fish?
Ahilsa
Tamil Jokes
Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.
How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO
What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.
How does a Tamilian introduce the tennis superstar Lendl?
ivan Lendl (Ivan = 'he' in Tamil).
What did the Tamilian call the tall building a Japanese built?
Nikumo Nikado (Will it or wont it stand?)
Maharashtrian Jokes
What is a gay Maharashtrian called?
Deccan Queen
What do you call a westernised Maharashtrian?
Western Ghat.
What do you call a Maharashtrian tailor?
Sadashiv.
Which Maharashtrians wrote the book 'Apartheid in South Africa?'
Dhaval Gore and Krishnakant Kale.
What did Bruce Lee say to the Maharashtrian?
Tumhi Marathe, Aamhi Karate.
Gujarati Jokes
Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman?
Because his name was 'Ben' Kingsley.
Why does the Gujju go to London?
To see his Big Ben.
Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.(snacks)
What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass
Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent. (important)
Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'
Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten?
The Gujju told him, You are an impotent man.
What will a Gujju tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race?
Come on, Tomato, Ketch up
What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon?
His son failed in statistics.
Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.
Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams?
He wanted to get cent-par-cent.
Why did the gujju go to Rome ?
He wanted to listen to POPE music.
What did the Gujju have in the morning?
LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.
What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
You are going from BED To VERSE.
Why won't the gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for KESH.
Sindhi Jokes
What do you call:
A god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani
A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani
A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor?
Thadani
A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor?
Kriplani
A Sindhi who falls from the 25th floor?
Marjani
A communist Sindhi?
Karl Lalwani
A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja
A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani
A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani
A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja
A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani
A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani
A Sindhi stripper working in New York?
Barbra Jhangiani
A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani
A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani
A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rindani
A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani
A forgetful Sindhi?
Bulo Bhulchandani
A fashionable Sindhi?
Primlani
A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani
A Sindhi fly?
Makhija
A downtrodden Sindhi?
Nichani
A corrupt Sindhi?
Chaipani
Why are a Sindhis nostrils big?
Because the air is free.
What do you call a Bengali who takes bribe?
Mr. Goosh.
An angry Bengali letter?
Chitti-chitti Bong Bong
A talkative Bengali?
Bulbul Chatterjee
An outlawed Bengali?
Kanoon Banerjee
An enlightened Bengali?
Jyoti Basu
A Bengali who works?
A work of fiction
A stupid Bengali girl?
Balika Buddhu
A Bengali marriage?
Bedding
A Bengali voyeur?
Keyhollo
A mad Bengali?
In Sen
A dark Bengali who lives in a cave?
Kalidas Guha
A Bengali mobster?
Robin Ganguli
A perfumed Bengali?
Chandan Dass
A Bengali goldsmith?
Shonar Bongla
What's bigger than the state of Bengal?
The Bay of Bengal
What s common between Bengalis and sperms?
Only 1 in a million works
When does a Bengali sound like a dog?
When he says wow(Bow)
What does a ghati call a burping Bong?
Mukhopadrya
What do you call a Bengali who doesn't eat fish?
Ahilsa
Tamil Jokes
Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan?
Comepalakrishnan.
How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu?
Ready....Steady.....PO
What do you call a really colourful Tamilian?
Rangamannar Rangarajan.
How does a Tamilian introduce the tennis superstar Lendl?
ivan Lendl (Ivan = 'he' in Tamil).
What did the Tamilian call the tall building a Japanese built?
Nikumo Nikado (Will it or wont it stand?)
Maharashtrian Jokes
What is a gay Maharashtrian called?
Deccan Queen
What do you call a westernised Maharashtrian?
Western Ghat.
What do you call a Maharashtrian tailor?
Sadashiv.
Which Maharashtrians wrote the book 'Apartheid in South Africa?'
Dhaval Gore and Krishnakant Kale.
What did Bruce Lee say to the Maharashtrian?
Tumhi Marathe, Aamhi Karate.
Gujarati Jokes
Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman?
Because his name was 'Ben' Kingsley.
Why does the Gujju go to London?
To see his Big Ben.
Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea?
Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.(snacks)
What is a Gujju picnic called?
A snake in the grass
Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy?
If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent. (important)
Why did the American get scared of the Gujju?
Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.'
Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten?
The Gujju told him, You are an impotent man.
What will a Gujju tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race?
Come on, Tomato, Ketch up
What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon?
His son failed in statistics.
Maro dikro Dubai gayo?
My son drowned.
Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams?
He wanted to get cent-par-cent.
Why did the gujju go to Rome ?
He wanted to listen to POPE music.
What did the Gujju have in the morning?
LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.
What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute?
You are going from BED To VERSE.
Why won't the gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for KESH.
Sindhi Jokes
What do you call:
A god fearing Sindhi?
Bhagwandas Godwani
A Sindhi painter?
Sadarangani
A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor?
Thadani
A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor?
Kriplani
A Sindhi who falls from the 25th floor?
Marjani
A communist Sindhi?
Karl Lalwani
A Sindhi chef?
Papadmull Kukreja
A Sindhi electrician?
Voltram Bijlani
A fashionable Sindhi?
Jogio Armani
A Sindhi milkman?
Gopal Dudeja
A heroic Sindhi soldier?
Hiroo Sipahimalani
A Sindhi pest control contractor?
Khatmull Marwani
A Sindhi stripper working in New York?
Barbra Jhangiani
A Sindhi casanova?
Prem Kissinchandani
A Sindhi fire-engine?
Bhambhani
A Sindhi detergent?
Neelam Rindani
A Sindhi postman?
Mailwani
A forgetful Sindhi?
Bulo Bhulchandani
A fashionable Sindhi?
Primlani
A fat Sindhi?
Hathiramani
A Sindhi fly?
Makhija
A downtrodden Sindhi?
Nichani
A corrupt Sindhi?
Chaipani
Why are a Sindhis nostrils big?
Because the air is free.
Thursday, May 20, 2004
The Motion Lab: Super Cool
Download the motion lab by clicking here.
Since this is an executable file, your computer may give a warning message like it gives for all executable files. Don't worry about that and ignore the message. This file has no virus.
Since this is an executable file, your computer may give a warning message like it gives for all executable files. Don't worry about that and ignore the message. This file has no virus.
Sunday, May 16, 2004
VIDEO: Hero Honda - Desh Ki Dhadkan
1 mt 02 secs
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Close on the heels of the Bajaj's Hamara Bajaj (Our Bajaj), came Hero Honda's Desh Ki Dhadkan (the country's heartbeat) campaign. Maybe I am biased towards the bike ads, but I do like the somewhat nostalgic and general "feel good" nature of the ad.
Click on the image above, and then click on play button once it becomes available.
Close on the heels of the Bajaj's Hamara Bajaj (Our Bajaj), came Hero Honda's Desh Ki Dhadkan (the country's heartbeat) campaign. Maybe I am biased towards the bike ads, but I do like the somewhat nostalgic and general "feel good" nature of the ad.
Amazing Trees
Whoever grew them must have had a lot of patience. These trees were originally grown in Santa Cruz CA. In around 1999, the owner of Nob Hill Foods in Gilroy CA moved them to his park in Gilroy.
The parable of the butterfly
”One day, a small oppening appeared on a cocoon; a man sat and watched for the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then, it seems to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.
But it had a withered body, it was tiny and shrivelled wings.
The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body, and become firm.
Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. Never been able to fly.
I asked for Strength...
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
Iasked for Wisdom...
And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity...
And God gave me a Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage…..
And God gave me obstacles to overcome.
I asked for Love...
And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors...
And God gave me Opportunities.
“I received nothing I wanted...
But I received everything I needed."
Live life without fear, confront all obstacles and evince that you can overcome them.
Then, it seems to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could not go any further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly: he took a pair of scissors and opened the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.
But it had a withered body, it was tiny and shrivelled wings.
The man continued to watch because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would open, enlarge and expand, to be able to support the butterfly’s body, and become firm.
Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a withered body and shrivelled wings. It never was able to fly.
What the man, in his kindness and his goodwill did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. Never been able to fly.
I asked for Strength...
And God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
Iasked for Wisdom...
And God gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity...
And God gave me a Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage…..
And God gave me obstacles to overcome.
I asked for Love...
And God gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favors...
And God gave me Opportunities.
“I received nothing I wanted...
But I received everything I needed."
Live life without fear, confront all obstacles and evince that you can overcome them.
Friday, May 14, 2004
Monday, May 10, 2004
Embarrassing Situations for a Lady
1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word..... he knew better.
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean Then I realized that 3 year old Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
[Update: Received again Jul 13, 2008]
2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean Then I realized that 3 year old Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
[Update: Received again Jul 13, 2008]
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