Beaks

Man and Mother Nature

AUDIO: Help Me Demolish My School

2 mts 38 secs

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Bengali Hunter's Revenge

Through the jongole I am went
On shooting Tiger I am bent,
Boshtaard Tiger has eaten wife
No doubt I will avenge poor darling's life,
Too much quiet, snakes and leeches
But I not fear these sons of beeches,
Hearing loud noise I am jumping with start
But noise is coming from damn fool's heart,
Taking care not to be fright
I am clutching rifle tight with eye to sight,
Should Tiger come I will shoot and fall him down
Then like hero return to native town,
Then through trees I am espying one cave
I am telling self - "Bannerjee be brave",
I am now proceeding with too much care
From far I smell this Tiger's lair,
My leg shaking, sweat coming, I start pray
I think I will shoot Tiger some other day,
Turning round I am going to flee
But Tiger giving bloody roar spotting Bengalee,
He bounding from cave like footballer Pele
I run shouting "Kali Ma tumi kothay gele",
Through the jongole I am running
With Tiger on my tail closer looming,
I am a telling that never in life
I will risk again for my damn wife!!!!

VIDEO: Republocrats

7 mts 56 secs

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VIDEO: Tom Cruise, Scientologist

Actor Tom Cruise has been the butt of ridicule and criticism ever since it was revealed that he is into Scientology. I am confused as to exactly why...is it just because he has different beliefs than most people in the States?

In any case, this is a funny spoof, of Cruise's Scientology video, from the Superhero Movie.

1 mt 50 secs

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And here is the original Tom Cruise interview.
9 mts 27 secs

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VIDEO: Your Wife Called

0 mts 30 secs

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Your Age by Eating Out

This is amazing! Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway - but your waiter may know!

It takes less than a minute. Work this out as you read.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
(more than once but less than 10)

2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)

3. Add 5

4. Multiply it by 50

5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1758...If you haven't, add 1757.

6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.

You should have a three digit number.

The first digit of this was your original number. (I.e., How many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)

The next two numbers are YOUR AGE !

This is the only year (2008) it will work, so spread it around while it lasts.

[Ed - Another one of the annoying silly calculations...as expected, it doesn't have anything to do with the number of times you eat out...

Let's see what goes on:

You are asked to select a digit except 0.

Then you multiply it by 100 (multiply by 2, and then multiply by 50) so that your age can be added to it without changing the numbers and making your original number the first digit.

You add 250 to the number (add 5, then multiply by 50) just to create confusion.

Then you add a number to this 250 to reach the current year - if you've had your birthday, this number is 1758 (2008-250)..otherwise it is 1757 (2008-250).

Now you add 250 to this number - basically reaching the sum of current year (250+2008-250 or 250+2007-250) and the original digit x100

And then, the definition of age = current year - birth year....so you are asked to subtract your year of birth from the resulting number above

And voila! you've reached your age + original digit x100

Of course, this will only work if your age is less than 100

Oh, and to make this work next year, use 1759 and 1758 instead of 1758 and 1757 respectively]

Now That's an Alarm Clock

The 10 Most Annoying Alarm Clocks

#10 - Climbing clock - It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.

# 9 Wake Up Puzzle - You have to build the puzzle to make it stop.

# 8 Wake or Curse - You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.

# 7 High Tech - This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.

# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.

# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.

# 4 GI Joe - You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.

# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.

# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.

# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.

Two Blonde Guys

It's not too often that you hear a joke about blonde guys...

Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."

Wheels of Life - A Senior Citizen Reclaims What's Rightfully Theirs

Isn't this the truth !!


With this in mind, I bought myself a new scooter.
I wanted something that was easy on gas and could zip me to the store and about town.

This seems to meet my EVERY need.

I love it!



Remember: Senior Citizens Are Valuable. We are more valuable than any of the younger generations.

We have silver in our hair.

We have gold in our teeth.

We have stones in our kidneys.

We have lead in our feet and.

We are loaded with natural gas!

Pope in America

Oh, shit! He is even dumber than I thought.

Lucky Retirement

This is the very definition of serendipity.

A New York man retired. He wanted to use his retirement money wisely so it would last, and decided to buy a home and a few acres in Portugal. The modest farmhouse had been vacant for 15 years; the owner and wife both had died and there were no heirs. The house was sold to pay taxes.

There had been several lookers, but the large barn had steel doors, and they had been welded shut. Nobody wanted to go to the extra expense to see what was in the barn, and it wasn't complimentary to the property anyway......so, nobody made an offer on the place.

The New York guy bought it at just over half of the property's worth, moved in, and set about to tear in to the barn.......curiosity was killing him.

So, he and his wife bought a generator, and a couple of grinders.......and cut through the welds.

What WAS in the barn...............?

The Barn


The doors were welded shut, but an angle grinder took care of that.


Fiat Cabriolet (1200 or 1500), Ford Cortina MKII, Mercedes Benz 180/190.


Aston Martin?


Opel GT, Lotus Elan FHC, Lotus Super Seven Series IV, Lotus Elan DHC.


Porsche 356, Austin Healey Sprite MkII, Volvo PV 544, Ford Y?


Giulietta Sprint, Giulia Sprint Speciale (SS), Nash Metropolitan.


Alfa Giulietta, Lotus Europa, another Lotus Elan FHC, Matra Djet?


Lancia Flaminia Coupé.


Abarth 1300 Scorpione.


American (inspired) design.


Interior of Alfa Romeo.


Lancia Flaminia Coupé, Peugeot 504 cabriolet & 404 cabriolet.


Mini, Alfa 1900 Super Sprint, Balilla.


Fiat Topolino II, Triumph TR4, Peugeot 202.


BMW V8, Formula racers, Chryslers, Mercedes, Austin A30.


BMW V8, Formula racers, Chryslers, Mercedes, Austin A30.


Bloody WICKED

All up valued at NZ$35 million.

This is a true story. The man and his wife had full claim to the lot. They had a great retirement.

Arctic Tsunami

VIDEO: EdWords

6 mts 33 secs

Extreme Tattoo & Piercing

Mom, Dad, hope you won't complain about my hair again.